For years, I watched friends effortlessly switch up their hairstyles while I clung to my familiar look. It wasn’t just hair; it had become part of my identity. My long, natural locks communicated that I was easygoing yet feminine, traditional yet adventurous. I was the type of person who wouldn’t follow the crowd just because everyone else did. Changing my hairstyle felt like it might change how others perceived me—and perhaps even how I viewed myself. The thought of that shift was daunting.
As I approach my 40th birthday this summer, I find myself reevaluating many aspects of my life. This milestone has prompted me to reflect on the changes I’ve undergone over the years. Perhaps it was time for my hairstyle to mirror my growth. After nearly four decades of $15 trims every six months, I decided to take a significant step and get a real haircut.
I arrived at the salon with a clear vision: one bold dark red streak near my face. This would represent the adventurous spirit that had been stirring within me. However, the hair stylist, a gentle soul named Mia, suggested alternatives. “Why not add a few more streaks? And how about caramel instead of red? It’ll complement your complexion better.” After four hours and a bill of $120, I walked out with dark hair adorned with blonde highlights.
The reaction from my kids was pure joy, and my husband was pleased as well. But I was filled with uncertainty. I had hoped my hair would reflect my evolving self, yet I felt like a stranger in my own reflection. Seeking validation, I shared a picture on social media and received an enthusiastic response—fifty likes and twenty positive comments. Flattered, I still felt unsettled. Maybe a good night’s sleep would change my perspective.
That night, I had a vivid dream where I was pregnant, and my belly was transparent. Inside, I saw a little girl with blonde hair and blue eyes, and I panicked, thinking there must be some mistake. Everyone praised her beauty, yet I felt disconnected. Upon waking, the dream lingered, mingling with the scent of hair dye in my home.
I groggily made my way to the bathroom and caught my reflection. In that moment, I knew what needed to be done. I called the salon and scheduled an appointment for that very afternoon. Mia greeted me with a knowing smile. “I had a feeling you’d return. Your hair looks lovely, but it just isn’t you, is it?” She was right. While the new look made me feel polished and sophisticated, it didn’t resonate with who I truly was.
Thankfully, Mia offered to revert my hair back to its original state at no cost. Now, my hair is dark again, just as it has always been. However, if I stand in the sunlight, you can catch glimpses of subtle magenta and auburn streaks woven into my familiar brown hair. It feels both simple and magical, grounded yet daring—much like how I feel inside.
This journey serves as a reminder that transformation, whether in appearance or life, can be challenging but ultimately rewarding. For those navigating similar decisions or seeking insights into parenthood, resources like this excellent article on pregnancy and information on gestational carriers in Houston can provide valuable guidance. Additionally, you may find inspiration in our piece about the at-home insemination kit.
In essence, embracing change is a part of life’s journey, and it is vital to ensure that our external expressions align with our true selves.