As I navigate through my later years, I’ve noticed some subtle signs of aging affecting my appearance. The realization hit me when people began expressing genuine concern for my emotional state. Just yesterday, I found myself in a couple of eye-opening conversations:
Coworker: interrupts my daydream of my top celebrity crush “Good morning!”
Me: sigh “Morning.”
Coworker: “Are you alright?”
Me: “Yes, why?” Is my face betraying my thoughts? Am I blushing?
Coworker: “You look a bit tired.”
Me: “Oh, really? I guess maybe a little.” If ‘tired’ means I’m daydreaming about my ultimate celebrity crush, then yeah, I’m exhausted.
Coworker: still unconvinced “Just let me know if you need anything.”
Later on…
Me: entering the lunchroom “Hey everyone!”
I gaze at my lunch—delicious leftover Chinese food. I’m practically drooling over the pork bits and beef skewers.
Coworker: “Hey!”
Me: grunts in delight
Coworker: “Are you okay?”
Me: “Absolutely! This food is phenomenal!”
Coworker: “Really? You seem sad.”
Me: “Sad? No way! I’m about to experience a foodgasm!”
Coworker: “Foodgasm? Did you come up with that? What do you have? I want it!”
Later that evening, I found myself on the couch binge-watching a show. I pondered the complexities of sexuality. No, I like men. I just need a wife to manage my home and dinner… Wait, I should be watching something else!
Husband: interrupting my thoughts “Hey, do we need to talk?”
Me: “What? Why?” Does he know I appreciate beauty in women? What’s going on?
Husband: raises an eyebrow “Do we need to discuss anything?”
Me: “I don’t think so. Why do you ask?”
Husband: “You look mad at me. Are you?”
Me: “No, not at all!” Why would he think that?
Husband: “It’s just your face. You look upset.”
Me: “My face?”
Husband: “Yes. You have a noticeable frown. But you look great regardless!”
Me: “Great, but with a frown?”
Husband: “Yeah, I’m going to bed now.”
I needed a moment to contemplate what my face was conveying. How could my expressions during daydreaming, indulging in food, and watching TV all provoke concern? Then it dawned on me—I’ve developed Resting Bitch Face (RBF).
Yes, RBF—the unintentional scowl that replaces a neutral expression. Fantastic! My aging wrinkles and slight far-sightedness have conspired to make me look like I’m ready to fight.
So what now? I’ll embrace this face! First, I’ll indulge more in fantasies about my number one crush (it’s Ryan Gosling, just so you know). My face won’t reveal my fantasies. Second, I’ll use this newfound power to intimidate my child. “Oh, you think you can ignore my request to clean your room? Let me show you my RBF!”
And lastly, I’m returning that facial cleansing device. Who needs it when my husband thinks I’m tight and flawless?
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In summary, aging has brought me unexpected facial expressions that don’t match my inner happiness. Embracing my RBF might just provide me with certain advantages I never anticipated.