I’ve always leaned towards Liam, but I decided to give Jake a fair chance. In this ultimate showdown, I revisited Sixteen Candles and Say Anything to determine which boyfriend truly captures my heart.
Wheels
At first glance, Jake’s flashy red Porsche seems unbeatable compared to Liam’s modest Malibu. However, I’d much prefer the spaciousness of a Malibu for a cozy getaway. So, it’s a tie here.
How They Treat Women
Jake hands off his intoxicated girlfriend to another guy without a second thought—definitely a red flag. In contrast, Liam shows genuine care by pointing out broken glass to prevent Diane from stepping on it, and he actively volunteers at a nursing home. Clearly, this round goes to Liam.
Friends
Jake rolls with a crew of nameless jocks who don’t add much to his character. Meanwhile, Liam’s closest friends are girls, engaging in heartfelt discussions. I like a balance of both worlds, so let’s call this one a draw.
How They Party
While Jake hides away as his parents’ house gets wrecked, Liam takes the role of the responsible friend, ensuring no one drives under the influence. Responsibility wins this round.
Financial Security
Jake enjoys a lavish lifestyle in a mansion filled with luxury cars, while Liam is more laid-back, living with his sister and only teaching kickboxing. Even though I appreciate independence, I have to give Jake the edge for financial stability.
Style
Jake’s fashion choices—sweater vests and plaid—are reminiscent of an elderly man. Next to Liam’s punk aesthetic of a Clash T-shirt and quirky pants, Jake’s style looks even more outdated. Liam takes this one.
Personality
Jake often comes off as a bit blank, possibly leaving Samantha wanting more. On the other hand, Liam makes Diane laugh and is unapologetically himself. Vulnerability wins me over every time, giving Liam the point.
Character
Jake’s actions show him checking out Samantha before even breaking up with his girlfriend, while Liam persists in asking Diane out, even after rejection. I can’t ignore Jake’s questionable choices, so this round goes to Liam.
Motive
Jake seeks a deeper connection, while Liam seems mostly infatuated with Diane’s looks. While Jake’s desire for something real gives him a slight edge, can he pull ahead?
Handling Stress
Jake resorts to slamming doors, while Liam drives around thoughtfully in the rain. Neither approach stands out, so this round ends in a draw.
Epic Gestures
Crashing a wedding versus playing “your song” outside a bedroom—Liam’s boombox moment is iconic and takes the cake.
The Bottom Line
Jake may have it all, but he lacks the completeness that comes with true love. Liam, on the other hand, knows what he wants—it’s you.
The verdict: Both characters embody the fantasy of being chosen by someone extraordinary. They represent a longing to be seen for who you truly are. Jake could learn from some solid advice: “Don’t just be a guy; be a man.” When it comes to my heart, Liam Sullivan delivers the knockout punch.
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Summary
In the face-off between Jake and Liam, the latter emerges as the more genuine and compassionate partner. While Jake has the allure of wealth and flashy possessions, Liam’s heartfelt gestures and steadfast personality make him the ultimate choice for love.