In the context of 1970s parenting, my own upbringing was remarkably permissive. My mother’s approach to raising children leaned more toward a “hands-off” style rather than hovering over us like a helicopter.
There were no set bedtimes; we simply slept wherever we felt tired. Each of us had a television in our own rooms, leading to my early education on romance coming not from school, but from shows like The Love Boat—far more than any 6-year-old should know. When it came to quitting activities, my mother’s guidance was straightforward. My older brother, who disliked camp, spent his summers engrossed in Dungeons & Dragons and video games. If I found an after-school program unappealing, her advice was clear: “If you’re not enjoying it, just quit.”
And so, I did. I walked away from gymnastics, pottery, musical theater, Hebrew school, ice skating lessons, and even the high school track team. I didn’t possess the clarity to know what I truly wanted, but I was learning what wasn’t right for me. I took this lesson into adulthood, quitting a total of 12 jobs that didn’t resonate with me before finally finding the right path.
However, when my own daughter, Mia, announced her desire to quit ballet after five years, I instinctively told her, “You’re not a quitter.” This reaction wasn’t something I had learned from my mother.
“Why can’t I quit?” she inquired. I pondered this question. My discomfort stemmed from the financial investment and the time she had committed to an activity that felt misaligned with her interests. But perhaps that discomfort arose from my own aspirations for her—not necessarily her desire to excel in ballet, but rather the hope that she would find fulfillment and dedication in something.
Modern parenting often equates success with never giving up, but does my daughter truly need to be a “winner”? This is a question I grapple with. Vince Lombardi, hailed as one of the greatest NFL coaches, famously said, “Winners never quit and quitters never win.” Yet, he was also known for his harsh treatment of his family. Is there a correlation?
While my children may not always achieve traditional success, they will grow up with self-esteem intact. A wise friend recently pointed out, “Why do we impose so much pressure on our kids? Just look at us.” She’s correct; I am a decent middle-class parent, but not an extraordinary figure like a Nobel Prize winner or an Olympic champion.
Speaking of champions, it’s true that figures like Albert Einstein, Steve Jobs, and Michael Phelps didn’t give up. However, Phelps’ mother enrolled him in swimming lessons at age 7 to channel his energy, leading to his impressive collection of medals. What if she had chosen a different path for him? He likely would have wanted to quit.
I realized that if Mia didn’t quit ballet now, she would be wasting precious time that could be spent exploring her true passions. Perhaps my mother had a point: prioritize happiness. Perhaps her best piece of advice was, “If you don’t love it, quit.”
In conclusion, allowing our children the freedom to choose their paths and make decisions about their interests is invaluable.
For more insights into managing child interests and activities, consider visiting this resource. Also, for those interested in pregnancy and home insemination, this is an excellent resource. And if you’re curious about home insemination kits, you can explore one of our other blog posts here.