Parenting can be a rollercoaster, and the phrase, “The way we communicate with our children shapes their inner voice,” often weighs heavily on me. It’s a constant reminder of the expectations I hold for myself and the fear of not living up to them. I sometimes find myself wishing my children’s inner dialogue didn’t echo my own frustrations.
Let’s face it—when stress hits, my patience wears thin. I’m not exactly the picture-perfect parent calmly guiding my kids through their nightly routine. I often wonder how those serene moms manage to maintain their composure when the clock strikes 8 p.m. and chaos ensues with unfinished homework, overflowing laundry, and three kids needing to wind down for bed.
In those moments, I slip. I raise my voice.
It usually begins with something as simple as socks. “GET YOUR SOCKS OUT OF THE PLAYROOM!” I shout, bewildered that one child could possibly have worn that many pairs in a single day. When my words fail to capture their attention, I yell louder. And, regrettably, it works. In that instant, I feel a mixture of guilt and relief; the yelling triggered action, yet I can’t help but mourn the way it affects our relationship.
I admire the “calm moms,” those mythical figures who seem to glide through parenthood without raising their voices. They seem to have it all figured out, while I struggle to keep my cool. I’ve tried to join the ranks of those who approach parenting without yelling—my attempts have often ended in failure. It’s easy to feel like I’m falling short of my responsibilities as a parent.
Yet, I know I’m not alone in this struggle. Many of us have endured our own challenges that have shaped our inner voices. Whether it’s family, peers, or even social pressures, life can be tough on our self-esteem. Shielding our children from these influences feels nearly impossible.
What I try to instill in my kids is the importance of love and forgiveness. These lessons can empower them to build a more resilient inner voice. Recently, I learned from another parent that my son, Lucas, had been a beacon of kindness to a classmate struggling with bullying. Despite my moments of yelling, he seems to understand that everyone deserves compassion and the ability to forgive.
So, while I may not embody the ideal of calm parenting, I’m here—yelling occasionally but also teaching essential values. Hats off to those serene moms who navigate the chaos with grace. I’ll continue to raise my voice, hoping it will ignite some motivation in my kids to listen and learn.
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In summary, while I might not be the calm parent I aspire to be, I’m learning and growing alongside my children, teaching them the importance of love and forgiveness, even amidst the chaos of yelling.