Menu: Parenting
Maria Guido
Updated: August 20, 2015
Originally Published: May 27, 2015
Anthropologist Wednesday Martin has dedicated her adult life to exploring nearly every corner of New York City. However, one particular area left her so unsettled that she felt compelled to write a book about the exclusive society of affluent NYC mothers. In her work, The Primates of Park Avenue, she describes this elite microcosm as “the most captivating and isolating and entirely separate world” she’s ever encountered.
You might have come across her book recently, especially with the buzz surrounding the concept of the “wife bonus.” This year-end monetary gift is awarded to certain wealthy wives for their achievements, such as securing their children spots in prestigious preschools or maintaining their physical appearance. This is just a glimpse into how these women lead lives starkly different from the majority.
These mothers are often seen being chauffeured in luxury SUVs while flaunting $100,000 Birkin bags as if they were trivial accessories. Many have abandoned their careers to focus on raising children, relying on their high-powered husbands, whom they seldom see. Martin notes, “There’s an overarching ethos of tense perfectionism and economic dependency. The men wield more power in this environment. It’s a society strictly defined by traditional gender roles.”
In a related New York Times op-ed titled “Poor Little Rich Girl,” Martin elaborates on the phenomenon of women having large families as a status symbol. Raising children in NYC is expensive, and what better way to showcase your wealth than by having a whole tribe? She highlights the competitive nature of motherhood among these affluent women, a reality many of us might have assumed was purely fictional.
Many of them turn to medications, alcohol, and marijuana to cope with their relentless quest for the ideal rich wife and mother persona. Their lives are laden with competition—not just in parenting, but also in appearance and possessions, all in an effort to “keep up.” To gather insights for her research, Martin “lived, lunched, and mothered alongside over 100 of them for nearly six years.” She portrays a world where these women are so reliant on their husbands for financial support that they find themselves trapped in a gilded cage.
This paints a picture reminiscent of a real-life Stepford wives nightmare. Rumors suggest that the mothers featured in her book are unhappy about their stories being shared. A source revealed, “The author approached several moms for their stories, assuring them nothing negative would be said, only to later betray that trust. They’re furious and fearful.” It’s understandable given the title The Primates of Park Avenue—a rather harsh label.
While their children might be worn out from living as symbols of wealth and achievement, and the allure of a Birkin bag can only last so long, it seems these women earn every bit of that wife bonus; their existence appears utterly exhausting.
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In summary, Wednesday Martin’s examination of the lives of wealthy mothers in New York City reveals a world marked by competition, economic dependency, and a relentless pursuit of perfection. Her observations depict a society where these women seem trapped in their roles, raising the question of what true fulfillment looks like in such an environment.