Recently, my family welcomed two adorable dogs, Max and Lily, into our lives. Both are black and white English setters, rescued from different shelters about 40 miles apart. They are sweet, loving companions, and every moment spent with them is worth the extra effort it takes to help them adjust to their new environment.
You might wonder why we decided to adopt two dogs. The truth is, after enduring nearly nine months of deep sorrow following the passing of Bella, my loyal friend for 13 incredible years, I realized my heart was ready to embrace love again. The void Bella left behind was so immense that it felt like I needed two dogs to help fill it.
Anyone who has loved a dog—or any pet—fervently knows that it inevitably leads to heart-wrenching loss. I tried to brace myself for Bella’s decline when she began showing signs of age and illness a year before I had to make the excruciating decision to end her suffering. I wrote blog posts about how devastating her loss would be for our family, and even created portraits of her, a testament to my anticipation of the grief that lay ahead.
Yet, nothing prepared me for the reality of that day. When the veterinarian specializing in gentle home euthanasia arrived to take Bella away wrapped in a blanket, I felt as if my own heart was shattering. My husband and I chose to allow Bella to pass in the comfort of our family room, so she wouldn’t have to experience fear in an unfamiliar vet’s office. I stroked her fur as the long needle entered her body, heard her startled yelp, and held her gaze as she slipped away. In that moment, I felt as if a piece of my soul was torn away; Bella was not just a pet but a cherished family member—a silent partner, a confidante.
That morning at 10 a.m. marked a turning point; I retreated to my bed, drawn curtains blocking out the world until it was time to pick up the kids from school. Life continued outside my window, while my own world felt bleak and colorless. I missed Bella’s warm greeting at the door, her presence beside me as I worked. The void was palpable.
In the weeks and months following Bella’s death, I sought comfort from others who had experienced similar losses. I noticed how their eyes filled with tears as they recounted their farewells. We have rituals for grieving people; why shouldn’t we do the same for our beloved pets? Why should we feel ashamed of our intense emotions?
Acts of Remembrance
In the aftermath of Bella’s passing, my family engaged in several meaningful acts of remembrance:
- Preserving a Piece of Her: Like a parent saving a lock of hair after a child’s first haircut, I cut a small section of Bella’s beautiful fur and placed it in an airtight container. I also kept her collar, both of which now reside safely in my jewelry box as cherished mementos.
- Scattering Ashes in a Special Place: Since Bella first joined our family in Washington, D.C., we visited her favorite park in Georgetown to scatter some of her ashes. Each family member took turns sharing a memory or a heartfelt sentiment, creating a moment of collective love and remembrance.
- Planting a Butterfly Bush: Knowing how much Bella adored chasing butterflies, we planted a butterfly bush in our backyard, fertilized with her ashes. Now, vibrant butterflies frequent our garden, bringing joy not only to us but also to Max and Lily, who happily chase them.
- Creating a Lasting Tribute: After Bella was cremated, we received her remains in a simple wooden urn, which we placed on a shelf in our living room. It serves as a quiet reminder of our love for her, ensuring she is always part of our daily lives.
- Allowing Time to Grieve: We took our time to fully process our grief before even considering adopting again. Rushing into bringing home another pet wouldn’t have been fair to anyone involved. After several months, when I felt ready, I found myself on a rescue list for English setters, which ultimately led me to Max and Lily.
As humans, we love deeply, even knowing it may lead to pain. Yet, every moment spent with our pets is worth the heartache.
For those seeking guidance on home insemination, you can find excellent resources such as American Pregnancy’s guide on donor insemination, and Hope and Inspiration for emotional support. If you’re interested in the process of home insemination, consider checking out the Home Insemination Kit for more information.
In summary, coping with the loss of a beloved pet is a deeply personal journey, filled with sorrow and the need for remembrance. Embracing our emotions and creating meaningful rituals can help navigate the healing process.