Updated: August 15, 2015
Originally Published: May 25, 2015
I can hardly believe it. Shorts season has always been a challenging time for me. But this year? After investing so much effort in self-love, I’m ready to change the narrative.
Throughout the day, I found myself hyper-aware of my body in ways I typically ignore. I felt the curve at my waist—the skin that has changed since becoming a mother. I noticed the familiar friction of my thighs, a sensation I’ve known since middle school. And every time I caught my reflection in a shop window, I was disheartened by how my upper arms appeared. As a result, I spent the day feeling distracted and, ultimately, quite miserable.
The Cycle of Dieting Begins
The struggle began at around age 12 when the weather warmed up and I dreaded wearing shorts. I was transitioning into adult sizes while still being a kid. That’s when I embarked on my first diet, which led to nearly two decades of chasing an ideal that always felt unattainable.
The Unending Quest for Acceptance
I fluctuated between being heavier and lighter, yet even in my thinner moments, I still felt inadequate. No matter the size, I always focused on the flaws I perceived. So what was the feeling behind calling myself “fat”?
It dawned on me—what I was truly feeling was a deep sense of unworthiness. It was about being judged, uncomfortable in my own skin, and feeling ashamed of who I was.
Coming to Terms with Sadness
After battling these feelings for a couple of days, I realized my anger stemmed from something deeper—grief. The little girl I once was, at 12 years old, was perfect just as she was. A size 10 in sixth grade wasn’t a failing; it was simply a child growing up. I regret how much time I wasted worrying about calories, when I could have been enjoying the sunshine and playing outside.
Embracing My Body During Pregnancy
When I carried my son, it was the first time I truly appreciated my body. I was in awe of how my form changed to nurture another life. Breastfeeding brought its own challenges to body image, but the focus on nurturing my baby made it bearable. Now, as my “baby” is 32 months old, I ponder whether I can still love my body when it’s not fulfilling such a sacred role.
Society doesn’t always embrace bodies like mine. Although strides have been made, finding plus-size shorts without restrictive fabric is still a challenge, which speaks volumes.
Taking Back My Power
I refuse to waste any more time. From the moment I decided at 12 that my body was inadequate to the time I fixated on my thighs rather than enjoying moments with my child, enough was enough.
Today, I am declaring: I will wear shorts and feel beautiful. I’m inspired by the #takebackpostpartum movement and am starting my own journey, which I’m calling #iwillwearshorts. Today, I’ll walk to the park with my son, appreciating my strong legs and fully embracing the body I have.
Let’s stop wasting time hating ourselves. Who’s with me? Who else will wear shorts?
For more on embracing motherhood and body positivity, check out this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination at Facts About Fertility. If you’re interested in activities for your little ones, Early Childhood Activities is a great authority on the topic. And for those looking to enhance their fertility journey, take a look at Fertility Booster for Men.
Summary
This article reflects on the author’s journey of self-acceptance, particularly in the context of body image and motherhood. It highlights the struggles faced during “shorts weather,” the long-term effects of dieting, and the emotional connection to one’s body. The author embraces the message of self-love and empowerment, vowing to wear shorts with confidence and advocate for body positivity.