As someone who falls into the category known as “advanced maternal age,” I’ve had my fair share of eye-opening moments as a mother. I met my partner at 30, tied the knot at 31, and welcomed my first child just shy of my 36th birthday. While my own upbringing had me believing late motherhood was the norm—my mother was 41 when she had me—my perspective shifted once my kids began school. Suddenly, I realized I was often a decade older than many of the other moms. Despite forming wonderful friendships with them, age discrepancies occasionally hit hard. Here are some telltale signs that I’m, shall we say, an older mom:
- I could feasibly be the mother of my child’s teacher.
- Some of my kids’ friends have grandparents who are younger than my own parents.
- When a friend mentions her long-term plans, it takes me a moment to grasp she’s not referring to retirement.
- I often find myself having to delicately explain to my kids why having another baby isn’t in the cards for me.
- I sometimes shock fellow parents with phrases that have fallen out of favor, like “Because I said so,” or, “Your face might freeze like that,” and even, “If you keep eating those chips, you’ll regret it.”
- I hold back from dispensing my hard-won parenting wisdom, especially when I realize their children are older than mine.
- Hearing another mom refer to me as “ma’am” makes me cringe. I value Southern politeness, but please, not from someone with kids the same age!
- Comments about my kids being closely spaced in age are common; after starting my family later, I rushed to fit them all in. Three kids in under three years, with the last two just 11 months apart.
- I often question why my friend’s hair appointment costs significantly less than mine, only to remember she’s opting for highlights instead of full gray coverage.
- My husband and I find humor in referring to “those kids,” which amusingly includes their parents.
- I contemplate discussing menstruation with my 9-year-old daughter, worried that I might forget what it was like by the time she needs the info.
I wouldn’t trade my advanced maternal age for anything; I was definitely not cut out to be a mom in my twenties or even early thirties. That said, it would be nice if some other parents could just age a bit faster—how about you hit 40 before I reach 50?
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Summary
The journey of motherhood often comes with surprising realizations, especially when one becomes a parent later in life. From the eye-opening generational gaps to the amusing challenges of parenting, these experiences shape an older mom’s perspective.