Updated: March 16, 2021
Originally Published: May 23, 2015
The clock is ticking. Just nine days left until summer break officially kicks off at our home. However, this isn’t an exhilarating countdown like “Nine days until Christmas.” Instead, it feels more like “Nine days until I endure three consecutive root canals.” And I certainly wouldn’t use the term “vacation” to describe what’s ahead.
In an ideal scenario, my kids and I would bask in the sun, devouring ice cream and bonding over the delightful task of cultivating the juiciest watermelon in our backyard garden. But alas, reality is far from ideal.
My children thrive on routine. When faced with open-ended hours, chaos erupts, tears flow, and overall misery ensues for everyone involved. To mitigate this, I diligently enroll them in a variety of summer activities, but due to their different ages, there’s rarely anything suitable for all three at once. Consequently, my days are spent frantically juggling their schedules, with the kids expressing their disdain for the entire ordeal. “I don’t want to go to his class, Mom! Why do I have to tag along? It’s not fair!”
And let’s not even discuss the expense of these activities. The cost of a week’s gymnastics class for a toddler could feed a small village. And there’s no guarantee that your child will even manage a somersault by the end. “What am I paying for? He’s just rolling around like a log. That takes no skill! Why is everyone clapping?”
We’ve already splurged on swimming lessons for the girls. My six-year-old is still stuck in the beginner class, learning how to blow bubbles while submerged. She’s terrified of water deeper than her ankles, and so far, these lessons haven’t eased her fears. Despite never passing, we keep shelling out money for them, if only for an excuse to get out of the house.
Then there’s the beach. It’s free, and the kids adore it. As for me? Ugh. The preparation takes longer than our actual beach time. Just applying sunscreen is a morning-long endeavor. And let’s not forget the snacks, drinks, toys, towels, and all the other unnecessary items that must accompany us. I’m not an octopus! I have two arms, and it’s inhumane to expect me to carry all this while also preventing my three-year-old son from playing a real-life game of “Frogger” in the parking lot.
And the sand? I absolutely loathe it. It gets everywhere: the van, the house, the couch, even in between our toes. I often have nightmares of my children burying me in sand—unable to move or speak while they stand over me with dripping popsicles, torturing me in the process. I wake up sweating, realizing it’s not a dream at all. “Can I at least get some Visine?”
I wish I were the crafty type, a mom who enjoys arts and crafts. If I were, the possibilities would be endless: “Birdhouse construction day,” “Paper mache day,” “Fairy garden day,” and so forth. Unfortunately, I’m the polar opposite of that kind of mother.
One thing is certain: my efforts to create a semblance of a normal summer schedule to avoid the inevitable chaos will likely fail spectacularly, leaving us with complaints like:
- “Why can’t we have a pool, Mom?”
- “I’m bored.”
- “I’m hungry.”
- “I’m bored and hungry.”
- “All my friends have pools.”
- “I do NOT want to pick up sticks in the yard again!”
- “Why must I always pick up sticks? This is unbearable!”
- “None of my friends have to pick up sticks; they get to swim in their pools!”
- “Buddy is eating dirt again!”
- “Can I have a snack?”
- “That snack? I don’t want that!”
- “I refuse to go outside. I saw a bee yesterday. Do I look like I want to die?”
- “We’re supposed to be having fun, Mom.”
- “This is NOT fun.”
- “This is the exact opposite of fun.”
- “This is the worst… summer… ever.”
Eighty-seven days until school resumes. But who’s counting?
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In summary, summer vacation can often feel less like a break and more like an endurance test for parents. Between the chaos of activities and the never-ending demands of children, it’s a challenging time that requires an abundance of patience and creativity.