I often experience loneliness. Just the other day, I confided in my single brother, who replied, “But you’re always around people. How can you feel lonely?” This is a question I’ve pondered countless times since becoming a parent. How is it possible for me to feel isolated while being surrounded by my children almost constantly? I mean, I have two little ones clinging to me at all times (yes, even during bathroom breaks) and yet, loneliness creeps in.
Is it because the conversations I have are less about stimulating dialogue and more about directing their actions? “Wash your hands. Stop hitting your sister. Get your hand out of your pants.” Could it be that my husband is often away, making it feel like he lives in a different area altogether? Whatever the reason, the fact remains: I feel lonely.
There are days when I don’t interact with a single adult. Days when no one checks in to see how I’m feeling or asks for my thoughts. Days spent navigating the challenges of parenthood without any meaningful connection or eye contact from someone who truly understands. Someone who can offer a nod that conveys, “I understand.” And that’s a profound kind of loneliness.
Before becoming a parent, I envisioned motherhood as exciting, challenging, and fun. However, I never anticipated the depth of loneliness it could bring. It’s so consuming and exhausting that it often feels isolating. After a full day managing my kids, I lack the energy to go out or even reach out to friends. Some nights, I’m too drained to engage in a real conversation with my partner.
I try to combat this loneliness by connecting with my children. As they grow, it does improve—though it’s not a perfect solution. I recall those grueling newborn days when I felt invisible, like I was on a distant planet while everyone else enjoyed life. While I can now engage in somewhat meaningful conversations with my kids, it doesn’t replace the need for adult interaction. It doesn’t substitute for talking to someone who listens with intent and responds, “I hear you.”
And that reality is undeniably lonely.
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In summary, motherhood, while rewarding, can be an isolating experience. The demands of parenting often leave little room for adult connection, leading to feelings of loneliness that many parents face.