Ah, yes, you! Gazing intently at that daunting packing list from Camp Tumbleweed—the one demanding a $500 investment at your local retailer, making you contemplate whether you’ll need that last bit of wine from the box. What if you could bypass the complicated math of laundry bags (where X is your child, Y is clean clothes, and X over Y means they might return home with other kids’ undies)? What if instead of worrying over the last set of twin sheets at Bed, Bath & Beyond, you could simply attend grown-up camp? (It’s all the rage!) Let’s dive into what a grown-up camp packing list might entail.
Clothing
Feel free to pack your favorite swimsuits or breezy caftans—whatever makes you comfortable. Just remember to cover up any areas you’d rather not expose (like those pesky chiggers). Keeping your clothing clean is essential, and if you opt for nudity, cleanliness is still a must. We prefer to save health department visits for true emergencies, such as burns from the nargileh. After the infamous Tory Burch incident of 2012, we kindly request minimal logos. And if you’re not a sock fan, that’s fine, but be prepared—blister complaints aren’t welcome here.
Footwear
Your adorable flip-flops may showcase your pedicure, but just one stubbed toe, and you’ll be rummaging through the mismatched Crocs bin with the rest of us. Remember: your flip-flops and other “eco-friendly” footwear can double as shower shoes (hello, athlete’s foot!).
Toiletries
While staying clean is vital, hair products are simply unnecessary at grown-up camp. Embrace your natural look—be it curly, straight, or a bit sparse. Management has banned most scented soaps and gels; if you’re curious about approved scents, please inquire at the office. Unfortunately, we cannot cater to your electric toothbrush needs, but with a doctor’s note, you can recharge vibrators at the clinic.
Bedding
Your luxurious sheets may be lovely, but they might not survive the camp’s boil-in-bag washing machine. Our platform tents provide a comfy sleeping arrangement, but do bring a tarp—it can serve multiple purposes, like a rain poncho or mattress protector. Anti-dust-mite pillows should be shaken out daily; you never know what critters might be lurking.
Outdoors
The camp staff isn’t liable for your expensive sunblock. Keep it stored safely. A plant identification guide can elevate your camp salads, but steer clear of mushrooms. Speaking of food, we don’t stock any form of kale, but we do have chia seeds available for your pudding experiments.
Entertainment
Leave your Apple Watch at home; there’s no Wi-Fi or Internet anyway. All versions of Cards Against Humanity must be checked for contraband decks of Trivial Pursuit. You may bring premixed cocktails (some are delicious!), but remember to provide your own garnish.
Sundries
Devices are allowed but keep in mind that Wi-Fi and cell service cease at the river crossing. This means no Kindles unless they’re fully charged; no digital games; no streaming services. If you experience withdrawal symptoms, please consult the nurse. Funds for the camp store will go directly into your account and cannot be lent to others. Cameras are strictly forbidden—last year’s mysterious photos in the counselors’ hut remain unsolved. You can, however, take a new arts-and-crafts class on courtroom sketching to capture your memories.
Items Not Allowed
Absolutely no weapons, including Krazy Glue (Andrea is recovering nicely). Pets are a no-go unless they are service animals. Please avoid adopting any amphibians or small mammals while on site. As for medications, only bring those with prescriptions—unless you’re willing to share.
In summary, packing for grown-up camp is about embracing simplicity and fun while ensuring you’re prepared for various situations. Don’t forget to check out more about your fertility journey here, and for more insights on pregnancy, visit this helpful resource. Don’t forget to check out this authority on dark lipstick for a stylish touch during your trip!