Updated: June 8, 2020
Originally Published: May 11, 2015
Breakfast in bed is nice, kids. While I usually lean towards Raisin Bran, the effort you put into those homemade pancakes certainly deserves a mountain of kisses. Thank you for that!
And darling husband, I genuinely appreciate the chic designer tennis dress you chose for me! However, I’m not sure it’s quite the right fit anymore. I’ve given birth twice and am now in my forties, which means I may not be able to rock the Lycra look as intended. Just because it’s wearable doesn’t mean it’s meant for me!
Family, you are my everything, and I’ll always respond with joy and enthusiasm to your sweet gestures on this special day. But if you could peek into my mind for just a moment, you’d uncover the real desires of a mother:
A Team of Poop Patrol
Dogs do their business in the yard, and it’s a messy job. We have countless plastic bags from grocery stores and fancy poop bags from the pet store, yet it seems I’m the only one tackling the task of cleaning up. You’d rather step in it than take a moment to scoop it up! Let’s share the load—because I’m not fond of removing dog waste from the soles of your shoes either.
Privacy While Using the Restroom
“Mooooooommmmmm!” is the cry of one child just as I sit down, while the other barges in to discuss an important school project about endangered elephants. Why is it that the moment I finally get to the bathroom, it’s the cue for everyone to need me? I’m trying to do my business here, not hold a family meeting!
A Year Without Customer Service Calls
Verizon, Time Warner, Apple Support… the list goes on. It feels like I’m forever stuck in the loop of “we value your business.” Please, take my phone and make the calls for a year. I’ll be forever grateful.
Dirty Socks in the Hamper
No further explanation needed here.
Beds Made Without My Help
That bunk bed of yours is a real nightmare. Fitting sheets on that top bunk is like wrestling with a wild animal. I’ve sometimes let weeks go by without changing your sheets because—let’s be honest—it’s a feat I’d rather avoid.
Kids Cleaning Up Their Toys
Have you taken a look at your playroom, kiddos? It’s chaos! Littlest Pet Shop figurines are mingling with LEGO sets, and there’s a mountain of tiny, unidentifiable toys everywhere. A little organization would go a long way!
Chilled Champagne
Nothing sounds better than sharing a bottle of good champagne with you, dear husband. At this point, even enjoying it solo would be a treat!
Hey, family! There’s always next year!
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In summary, Mother’s Day gestures are appreciated, but what I truly desire is a little teamwork and understanding around the house. From cleaning up after the pets to enjoying a moment of peace, these small changes would mean the world to me.