This Mother’s Day marks the first I will experience without my mother. Earlier this year, she passed away unexpectedly, leaving me to navigate life’s challenges in her absence. Each day has been a struggle as I yearn for her wisdom, her comforting presence, and the guidance that only she could provide—just one last time.
What I’ve begun to understand is that my mother spent her life preparing me for this moment. Motherhood is not solely about nurturing your children while you are present; it’s about equipping them with the tools they need to thrive when you’re no longer around. Through countless late-night conversations, family arguments, and shared meals, I absorbed valuable lessons from her life that help me cope with her loss.
Take pride in your work.
My mother was dedicated to her craft as a seamstress, creating stunning garments for a variety of clients. Despite the high-profile nature of her work, her commitment to quality never wavered. Ultimately, it’s your work that defines you, not the paycheck.
Learn practical skills.
From a young age, my mother taught me essential skills like sewing on a button and hemming pants. I once thought I could simply pay someone else to handle these tasks. Her retort was insightful: “How will you know if the job is done well if you don’t understand how it should look?”
Community matters.
My mother appeared to be a superwoman, effortlessly making homemade pasta for gatherings or baking cookies for events. However, she relied on her friends and community for support. No one person can do it all; together, women can uplift and empower one another, achieving greatness as a collective.
Embrace challenges.
Though my mother loved the water, she never learned to swim. Instead, she ensured that we took swimming lessons at the local pool. Life often throws us into deep waters unexpectedly, and it’s crucial to stay afloat when it does.
Love deeply.
While my mother didn’t fulfill every dream (for instance, she never made it to Las Vegas), she lived each day fully. My daughter often remarks that her Nonna’s hugs felt like they were filled with love. In her own way, she was expressing her affection with every embrace.
Parting is important.
Whether it’s a cultural practice or a personal one, my mom always insisted on saying goodbye. I cherish the last moments we shared; I hugged her, told her I loved her, and said goodbye—just as I always did. Had I known it was the final farewell, I might have struggled to let go, but life rarely provides such warnings.
My mother lived authentically and without reservations. I miss her every moment, and the thought of navigating life without her is daunting. Yet, I understand that my most vital responsibility as a mother is to ensure that my daughter can stand strong, even when I’m not by her side.
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In summary, this Mother’s Day is a poignant reminder of the lessons imparted by my mother, which continue to guide me in my own parenting journey.