Parenting Insights: Addressing Weight with Sensitivity
Dear Lila,
My 13-year-old daughter is currently about 10 to 15 pounds over her ideal weight. She’s aware of it and feels uncomfortable, especially since our doctor has subtly pointed it out, yet offered minimal advice on how to address it. I want to support her before her weight increases further, but I’m worried about exacerbating her insecurities. It’s alarming how many girls end up with eating disorders nowadays! Should I seek an external program like Weight Watchers, or focus on helping her at home? We maintain a healthy diet with limited junk food, but she struggles with portion sizes and indulging in treats when with friends.
Thanks for your guidance,
Concerned Parent
I empathize with your situation, Concerned. The teenage years are particularly delicate, and you certainly don’t want to add to your daughter’s existing worries about her weight. However, it’s commendable that you want to establish healthy habits for her future.
You mentioned that while your household is stocked with nutritious foods, portion control remains a challenge. It’s important to remember that even healthy foods can contribute to weight gain if consumed in excess. In a gentle, non-critical manner, consider discussing serving sizes and caloric needs. For example, you could bring up how a bottle of chocolate milk might contain two servings, prompting a discussion without singling her out.
Instead of framing the conversation around weight, emphasize health. Encourage physical activity by enrolling her in sports or activities she enjoys. Lead by example by modeling healthy eating habits—eating together, serving appropriate portions, and enjoying meals slowly. You can frame these changes as adding nutritious elements to her lifestyle rather than taking anything away.
As a parent with a child who also battles weight issues, I understand your instinct to protect and assist. Your daughter is already aware of her situation, so one of the most impactful things you can do is avoid being a source of criticism or shame. My approach has been to model healthy choices, offer nutritious meals, and share my thoughts only when she asks for them—something that doesn’t happen often, but is often when teens are most open to receiving advice.
Best of luck to you and your daughter!