Recently, I had a chat with a friend who revealed that her 10-year-old son has an Instagram account. As we generally align on parenting philosophies, I was taken aback. When I probed further, she assured me that she has established rules and privacy settings to safeguard her son. She mentioned having discussions about suitable photos and internet safety, emphasizing her trust in him to make responsible choices online.
However, I firmly believe that children under 13 should not engage in social media. There, I said it.
The era of kids sneaking off to make private phone calls is long gone, and I understand how challenging it is to deny children access to platforms like Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter. As a mother of both a tween and a teenager, I’m aware of the pressures to allow them to dive into the social media world. I’ve talked to my kids about potential online dangers, texting manners, and making thoughtful choices. I trust them to act appropriately, but that doesn’t mean I’m ready to let them into the social media landscape just yet.
I’ve had many discussions with parents who disagree, insisting I’m being overly strict. They argue that social media—under parental guidance—can serve as an educational tool, enabling them to supervise their children’s online behavior as they learn. “Just follow him on Facebook!” they suggest, or “I make sure she follows me, so she knows I’m keeping an eye on her.” They remind me that my kids could be missing out on important socialization and encourage me to relax my restrictions.
But I still say NO.
While I understand that I can set stringent privacy controls on my kids’ accounts, here’s the reality: I don’t want my children exposed to the content I share. I’d rather not have them see my adult-oriented posts or your child’s exposure to them. There’s simply no reason for my 10-year-old to stumble upon questionable content, like a drunken selfie from her friend’s parent or an inappropriate meme. Social media is off-limits for kids her age.
As an adult, I enjoy sharing my thoughts—often with a sprinkle of inappropriate humor. I vent about my parenting challenges and engage in some lighthearted banter online. I’m not interested in filtering my social media presence just to accommodate your child’s curiosity. I don’t want to accept your kid’s friend request to monitor their activities or be caught in the awkward position of reporting on their online behavior.
Can we agree that I don’t need to be part of your child’s social media circle? I know I might sound harsh, and some friends may roll their eyes at my stance, but I refuse to feel responsible for curbing my online expression just because your child might be scrolling through my posts. I want to express myself freely, and this includes the occasional rant about parenting trials.
I often share photos involving cocktails and may even be tipsy in some of them. Do you really want to explain why I’m in a pink boa singing ’80s songs? Let’s not go there.
I treasure my friendships with adults, where I can be candid and let my guard down. I’ve built a community based on sharing my parenting experiences, and I’ve had to remind friends to keep their kids away from my accounts. If they don’t comply, I’m not afraid to hit the ban button. Sorry, kids, but my social media is not a family-friendly space.
In conclusion, I’m all for protecting children and keeping an eye on their online activities, but I don’t wish to engage with them on social media. I value my adult interactions and need a space where I can vent and share without concern for the eyes of children.
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