This morning, while I was “working” (read: scrolling through social media and browsing parenting blogs), I stumbled upon a piece about a mother who crafts a unique Disney princess dress for her daughter every single time they visit a Disney Park. No joke. Each visit is met with a hand-sewn dress.
Here’s the kicker: I don’t recall my mom ever doing anything like that for me. In fact, I can’t remember any of my friends’ parents doing anything remotely similar either.
Here’s what else I don’t recall:
- My parents were not present at every single sports game, play, or rehearsal I attended. I remember being dropped off at the curb and told to return at the same spot two hours later when practice was finished.
- I can’t recall my mom attending every classroom event, party, or ceremony. Sure, they made it to my second-grade violin recital and a few milestones, but my teachers certainly spent more time with me during those formative years than my parents did.
- I visited Disney twice in my childhood, and I wore one of those turquoise, velour jumpers, tube socks, and fake Keds. And guess what? My mother didn’t sew those outfits; we bought them off the clearance rack at Sears.
- I don’t remember hearing terms like “issues,” “play dates,” or “conscious uncoupling.” People had tough times, kids played outside, and divorce was just part of life. No one “Ferberized” their baby to sleep or asked a toddler how they felt about their bed.
- My parents didn’t monitor my conversations or use technology to track my whereabouts. I had my own phone line (yes, that was my one luxury) and they never eavesdropped. They trusted me to hang out with friends, and if I missed curfew, I faced consequences without any discussion.
- My parents were not my friends. They were my authority figures whom I respected, listened to, and occasionally argued with. If social media existed back then, they wouldn’t have been interested in being my friends online because they had their own lives to lead.
- Birthday parties didn’t involve lavish catering or extravagant cakes. Costumes came from the grocery store, and holiday gifts were simple. We received jelly beans and a chocolate bunny for Easter, and we were perfectly happy with that.
- I don’t remember being involved in multiple activities simultaneously at a young age. My siblings and I didn’t juggle sports or arts all at once. If you enjoyed something, you tried it, played it, and then went home. Parents didn’t stress over “new experiences” or spend excessive amounts of money on costumes or camps.
Now, I’ll admit it: I too feel the pressure to keep up with parenting trends. My kids sometimes have packed schedules, and we’ve visited Disney twice already. I’ve even sewn their Halloween costumes by hand.
But maybe it’s time to reevaluate the culture we’re fostering for our children. The idea that handmade Disney dresses are essential for a trip to the theme park is absurd. From designer invitations to extravagant birthday parties, we’re inadvertently teaching our kids that they should always want more, rather than appreciating the simple joys of life.
If my mother saw me making dresses for my daughter’s trips to Disney, she would probably be appalled and remind me of the lessons I was raised with.
In the end, let’s take a step back and consider what we want for our children.
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In summary, while we may be tempted to embrace the latest parenting fads, it’s crucial to reflect on what truly matters in raising our kids.