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I Felt Like a Terrible Mom Today
by Emily Carter
Updated: Jan. 23, 2016
Originally Published: April 13, 2015
Today, I felt like I was failing as a mother. It’s hard not to feel that way sometimes.
I was a bit self-centered. I enjoyed a cup of coffee before tackling the baby’s diaper change.
I was also feeling weak. I lost my temper with my little one when she refused to eat the meal I prepared for her.
I was strict. I said “no” far more often than I said “yes,” which didn’t help matters.
I was unkind. I spoke through gritted teeth more times than I care to admit.
Those who advise us to “cherish every moment” seem to forget the realities of parenting. It’s not always idyllic. The closest I’ve come to a rainbow was the day my baby made a colorful mess with crayons. (I was not on my best parenting game that day.)
No matter how hard I strive to be the ideal mother, I often feel like I fall short. But if I linger too long on my perceived failures, I risk driving myself to madness. Instead, I must acknowledge the good I did today, because I also excelled as a mom.
I was playful. I constructed a blanket fort with my kids.
I was patient. I allowed my toddler the time she needed to “buckle herself in” — which really meant waiting for her to concede and let me help.
I was attentive. I put down my phone and snuggled with my children on the couch.
I was caring. I kissed their scrapes and wiped away their tears.
As parents, we all desire the best for our children. We don’t settle for mediocrity; we want excellence. We hold ourselves to high standards, which can sometimes lead to unrealistic expectations and overwhelming guilt.
It’s unhealthy to dwell only on our shortcomings without recognizing our successes. I wonder if it’s human nature to fixate on the negative. I hear about “mommy guilt” often, but what about “mommy pride”? That’s something we should embrace.
We brought life into this world, nurtured our babies with our bodies, and endured sleepless nights to care for them. We’ve tackled all sorts of messes along the way. But most importantly, we’ve loved them deeply. A mother’s love is profound, selfless, and nurturing.
When we pause to reflect, we often find that the positives outweigh the negatives. Motherhood is a daily dance of highs and lows, filled with mistakes and triumphs. It’s not about perfection; it’s about being mindful of our actions and holding it together even when it feels like everything is falling apart.
We may stumble at times, but we also rise to the occasion. And with a bit of luck, we learn to find better balance with each new day.
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In summary, while we may feel like we’re falling short at times, it’s essential to recognize the love and effort we put into being the best mothers we can be.