At just 15, Elena “Lena” Montoya arrived in Manhattan from the Dominican Republic. It was the dawn of the 1960s, and her father, a dapper tailor, stood as a rebel against a brutal regime. He led their escape, yet the shadows of his past couldn’t be easily erased. My mother grew up amidst violent civil strife, witnessing horrors that no child should endure. This shaped her resolve: life in America would be different—not just for her, but for her children.
Raising a family with the fierce spirit of a Latina Tiger Mom is rarely a walk in the park. I inherited her fierce determination, which often led to clashes between us. (In my twenties, she once told me, “I could never break you.” I took that as a badge of honor.) Despite her formal education ending with a G.E.D. in her 30s, Lena was a masterful architect of success, preparing her children to fully embrace life’s opportunities.
A decade after her battle with colon cancer, I’m still working on a book that captures her essence. Meanwhile, here’s a glimpse into her invaluable advice as a heartfelt tribute to this remarkable woman:
- “Are you an ‘A’ or a ‘B’?”
When report card time rolled around, there was zero tolerance for anything less than an “A.” If I ever brought home a “B,” she’d assert with her charming accent, “If you think you’re a B, be a B. If you think you’re an A, be an A.” This lesson was profound—she was teaching the core principle of personal agency and control over one’s life. While I may not be as strict with my own daughter, her message resonates. - “Was there a gun to your head?!”
My grandfather, who endured torture before reaching the U.S., provided Lena with vivid lessons on choice and freedom. Her reminder that we always have options—regardless of how limited they may seem—empowered us to take charge of our own destinies. - “Speaking well isn’t just for white people.”
As a family of Latino descent, moving from Harlem to New Hampshire presented its challenges. We faced teasing for our articulate speech, often hearing, “You talk white!” My mother’s wisdom encouraged me to rise above these assumptions, affirming that we were just as capable and deserving as anyone else. - “There’s no competition; you’re your only competition.”
Lena had no patience for jealousy or comparisons. “Want that? Get it yourself,” she’d say. She believed that focusing on one’s own growth was paramount, and thus, I learned to keep my eyes on my own path. - “Everything is temporary.”
Impatience was often her undoing, but she reminded me that time has a way of shifting circumstances. “You think I got here in one day?!” she would exclaim, emphasizing the importance of perseverance. - “So what if you scrub toilets?”
Lena honored every form of work. She taught us that no job was beneath us and that dignity resided in all labor, no matter how menial it may appear. - “You never know who might be your boss one day.”
As I stepped into my first job, her advice rang true: treat everyone with respect. From the janitor to the CEO, kindness is remembered, and it’s a lesson I carry with me. - “You never know who’s watching you.”
Though I embrace feminism, I also recognize the power of presenting oneself well. Coming from a lineage of strong women, I learned that putting forth your best self can challenge biases and create opportunities. - “They can take everything from you, but not your education.”
Growing up amidst turmoil, Lena instilled in us that knowledge is an indelible asset. While material things may fade, your education is yours forever. - “You want to know what happens when you do that?”
With both humor and wisdom, she recounted tales from her childhood that taught me the value of life’s unpredictability. She made me appreciate my fortunate upbringing and the stark difference from her own experiences.
This collection of lessons serves as a testament to the strength and wisdom of my mother. If you’re exploring ways to enhance your fertility journey, consider checking out boost fertility supplements. For more profound insights into personal growth, visit change lives, an authority on this topic. And for those seeking guidance on pregnancy and home insemination, this resource is invaluable.
Summary:
Reflecting on the life lessons imparted by my mother, Lena Montoya, reveals the tenacity and wisdom of a Latina Tiger Parent. Her guidance not only shaped my character but also instilled a deep understanding of personal agency, dignity in work, and the importance of education. Her teachings continue to inspire me as I navigate my own parenting journey.