Running errands for my mother? Easy. Squeezing five friends into my car? No sweat. Late-night drives from college to Chinatown for some beef chow fun? Count me in!
When I initially settled in Manhattan, I kept my car, maneuvering it strategically to avoid tickets and potential break-ins. Rain or shine, city or countryside, I was always ready for a spontaneous road trip, whether it was apple picking or picking up friends.
Then I made the move to the suburbs. Here, you drive to get your mail, to the gym where you just walk on a treadmill, and even a simple cup of sugar requires a ten-minute drive to the store. The miles on the road—and in life—seem to accumulate quickly.
At first, the charming tree-lined streets and speed bumps felt enchanting. But after traversing those humps morning, noon, and night, the charm wears thin. It becomes a relentless cycle of picking up the kids, shuttling them to school, and transporting them from soccer practice to birthday parties.
“Dad, please pick me up at 5 from practice and then take Julie home. Oh, and I need index cards from Staples. Can we grab Panera for dinner? The Frontega Chicken is my favorite!”
“Dad, after you pick me up on Main Street, can you drop me off at Lisa’s? Swing back in two hours, and we can head to the gym. Also, can Deanna join us? She’ll be waiting in her driveway.”
“Dad, I left my sweater at Lindsey’s. Can you grab it when you’re returning from Home Depot? And since Mom’s cooking salmon, could you swing by Panera? You know I can’t stand salmon. Love you, Daddy.”
Wait, what?
This endless cycle of driving is just the beginning, and that’s with one child. Now imagine juggling multiple kids, waving to fellow parents from opposite sides of the road. Forget cozy evenings on the couch. Mom and dad are now road warriors, battling the elements and the demands of their almost-teenagers.
I take pride in being a devoted dad, but when did I become Uber Dad? Was it a checkbox I unknowingly ticked on my child’s birth certificate? A lifetime commitment to being just a text away? Always in overdrive, I find myself driving my kids everywhere, offering complimentary door-to-door service for my teens.
Uber Dad? More like Uber Schmuck. (Let’s think positively—maybe Uber Mensch!)
With music, information, and conversations always at their fingertips, why not have Dad and Mom on speed dial? Instant gratification means I can be there in a flash. Forget about conference calls; I can handle those from the driver’s seat while speeding toward school pick-up. It’s suburban multitasking at its finest.
And I can’t deny it’s my doing. I chose to raise my kids where sidewalks are scarce, yearning for trees, grass, and fresh air. Instead of the urban hustle, I embraced an idyllic yet overpriced patch of paradise.
No more constant honking…unless it’s geese flying south. I traded city congestion for the open roads lined with vegetable stands. But in fleeing from the city, I ended up at the gas pump more often than I’d like, filling up my hours by filling up the car.
I’ve created a routine where every road seems to lead back home. Distance is no obstacle, and no outing is too tiring. Weekend tournaments feel like a quick jaunt down the Interstate. Friday night movies? Parents can always catch up on Netflix after the kids are settled.
It’s a delicate balancing act: who’s dropping off and who’s picking up? Instead of catching up over sushi with old friends, I find myself negotiating pick-up times with other parents. Dylan’s dad now takes up more of my time than my own parents.
Don’t even get me started on those parents who discreetly drop off their kids at my house without a word. They avoid the responsibility of carting kids around, just to make a beeline for some local wine bar.
“Haley’s mom can’t drive.” “Haley’s dad is out of town.” “Haley’s nanny has Wednesdays off.”
And why should they be available? Especially when Uber Dad is just a quick drive away.
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In summary, moving to the suburbs might seem idyllic, but it often transforms parents into full-time chauffeurs, navigating a maze of kid schedules and activities. It’s a balancing act that requires constant adaptation, where the charm of suburban life quickly becomes a whirlwind of driving commitments.