As a parent, one of my greatest dreams has always been to engage in meaningful conversations with my child. I cherish connecting with people through dialogue. So, when my daughter Lily started to chat with me, I was over the moon. However, parenting is a mixed bag, and while discussing our favorite movie scenes can be a joy, there are a few things Lily, now 5 ½, says that truly test my patience. Here’s a glimpse into my dual reactions:
1) “Mommy, will you play with me?”
It’s Saturday morning, and I’ve barely had my coffee.
Good Mommy, Take 1:
Good Mommy: (sighing) What do you want to play?
Lily: Store.
Good Mommy: What kind of store?
Lily: Jewelry. And other stuff. I’ll set it up, and you can buy whatever you want. ‘Kay?
Good Mommy: Can’t we just do a puzzle?
Lily: C’mon! It’ll be fun.
Good Mommy: (exhaling) OK.
Real Mommy, Take 2:
Lily: Mommy, will you play with me?
Real Mommy: What do you want to play?
Lily: Store.
Real Mommy: Oh no! I absolutely dread imaginative play. It never ends, and I’ll be stuck pretending to buy things I have zero interest in while all I want is to lounge on the couch and catch up on my favorite gossip magazine.
2) “My butt is itchy.”
This usually happens when we’re outdoors, hurrying to school with throngs of people around.
Good Mommy, Take 1:
Good Mommy: OK, honey. We’ll find a bathroom as soon as we get to school.
Lily: (tearless crying) No. Mommy, please.
I grab a tissue, shield us from the crowd, and awkwardly attempt to soothe her.
Good Mommy: (gently moving the tissue) Better?
(She nods.)
Good Mommy: I know, honey. It’s no fun having an itchy butt.
Real Mommy, Take 2:
Real Mommy: Sorry, but you’re just going to have to deal with it until we get to school.
(Crying intensifies.)
Real Mommy: First, take a breath. Secondly, I can’t fathom how your behind is itchy after I wiped it a million times last night. Thirdly, I look ridiculous doing this in public, and let’s not even talk about the onlookers! Oh, and let’s not forget I also hear “My vagina’s itchy” too.
3) “Why are you being so mean?”
Good Mommy, Take 1:
Good Mommy: Remember I told you that it’s tough for me when you don’t listen, especially when I’m tired? You’re dawdling instead of letting me tuck you in, and I just need sleep.
Lily: But you don’t have to be mean to me.
Good Mommy: You’re right. I’m sorry for being mean. Do you forgive me?
Lily: Yes.
(We hug.)
Real Mommy, Take 2:
Real Mommy: Because I’m exhausted from working all day at a job I don’t even like just to put food on the table. Now, all I want is to relax and watch my favorite show, but here you are bouncing around instead of listening!
4) “I love you so, so much.”
Good Mommy, Take 1:
Oh, thank you, sweetie. I love you so, so much too.
(Truth: I don’t really mind this one, but it does tug at my heartstrings.)
Real Mommy, Take 2:
Lily: Mommy, I love you so, so much.
Me: Oh, honey, can we just stick to “Mommy, I love you”?
Lily: Why?
Me: Because when you say “so, so much,” it makes me worry about the future, and that thought breaks my heart. I lost my dad when he was only 45, and sometimes I fear I won’t be around for you either.
It’s a heavy burden to carry in my mind, especially since I’ve already faced my own health battles.
Despite these moments, I cherish the conversations we have, even when they’re challenging. They remind me of the importance of connection, and sometimes, they bring unexpected laughter.
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Summary
Parenting is a beautiful yet complex journey filled with moments of joy and frustration. While communicating with my daughter Lily is a dream come true, some of her comments can be quite challenging. Balancing the roles of “Good Mommy” and “Real Mommy” often leads to humorous and heartfelt exchanges that ultimately strengthen our bond.