With my mom’s birthday approaching, I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to share a nostalgic photo of her from the 70s on my personal Facebook page. I instantly recalled the ideal image: her lounging in the backyard, soaking up the sun. Dusty old photo albums filled with memories lay tucked beneath my bed, and as I opened the first one, there it was right on the first page.
The album was filled with gems — her sprawled on a beach chair, relaxing on a brown tweed couch, and posing with my dad in front of his motorcycle. There were countless moments captured: family dinners, summer outings, and even a pic of me sneaking a sip from a can when I was just three (please, no calls to child protective services). Each image showcased her beauty, calmness, and carefree spirit. Where were us kids during all this? Probably down the street, playing without supervision. Helicopter parenting had yet to invade her generation, allowing her the freedom to simply enjoy life, as reflected in her relaxed demeanor.
As I typed out a heartfelt birthday message, I pondered whether my sons would ever stumble upon a similar photo of me in the future. I glanced at the towering stack of scrapbooks in our living room, filled with mementos of their childhood — first steps, birthdays, and t-ball games. Yet, as I flipped through the pages, I noticed an undeniable pattern: I was hardly in any of them. The only photo I could find of myself was in a hospital bed, cradling a newborn.
What happened to the years that followed? Motherhood enveloped me, and I became the one behind the camera, capturing the essence of my children’s lives while neglecting to document my own. Sure, I took the occasional selfie, often sweaty from a run or momentarily thrilled to have washed my hair. My Instagram is filled with pictures of food (a necessity with five males to feed), nature, and my boys engaged in countless activities. Yet, there are few reminders of the woman who dedicates herself to creating these memories.
The last time I was captured in a moment of leisure was on my honeymoon, nearly 18 years ago. That speaks volumes about the role motherhood has played in my life. I’ve spent years in the background, focused on cooking, cleaning, and nurturing, while the woman I once was faded into the background.
As my mom celebrates another year, I reflect on the lessons she’s imparted. That photo of her as a young mother, relaxing and present in her life, serves as a reminder for me to do the same. Today, I asked my 11-year-old son to take a picture of me. “Just you?” he asked, bewildered. “Yes, just me, sitting here on the porch where one day, you’ll remember I loved to relax,” I explained. “In 30 years, you’ll want to find this picture of me.”
So, fellow moms, it’s time for you to step into the frame of your own life. Be present. Capture the moments that matter, not just for your children but for yourself too.
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In summary, it’s crucial for mothers to take time to be present in their own family memories, ensuring their children have a visual reminder of the woman who played such a significant role in their lives.