1. Please, Not Now
This phase kicks in the moment you experience your first contraction and lasts until you’ve managed to snag five consecutive hours of sleep. Between wearing disposable underwear, dealing with postpartum discomfort, and waking up drenched in sweat multiple times a night, it’s hard to remember that intimacy was once a part of your life! Unfortunately, your partner might still find those disposable panties intriguing and may attempt to initiate intimacy. If that happens, a good strategy is to share some vivid images of your childbirth experience — it’s a surefire way to extinguish any lingering romantic notions!
2. Intimacy Feels Like a Chore
After about six months, the thought of intimacy may start to seem feasible again — someday. You reminisce about how enjoyable it was, but at this stage of parenting, with sleep deprivation weighing heavily, the idea of doing anything other than collapsing into bed seems overwhelming. Meanwhile, your partner may be eagerly waiting for you to rekindle that spark. In this case, consider revisiting those birth images or gifting them a subscription to a pornographic site. While there are arguments against porn, you probably won’t mind if it keeps them from trying to be intimate while you’re in a deep sleep.
3. Let’s Give It a Go
Once your little one is finally sleeping through the night, you’ve started showering regularly, and you’re becoming accustomed to your post-baby body, it’s time to explore intimacy again! You might even indulge in some wine and romance, only to discover that your lactating breasts can complicate the situation. Nothing kills the mood quite like an unexpected squirt of breastmilk! You do your best to navigate these new challenges, but when it turns out to be painful, you remember your doctor’s warning that the first time after childbirth might be uncomfortable. Perhaps it’s wiser to take it slow and try again after a bit more wine and some pain relief.
4. Rekindling the Connection
You’ve adapted to parenthood and established a routine for your child. With consistent naps and a full night’s sleep, you’re starting to feel more like yourself. You and your partner begin to enjoy occasional alone time, such as dinner dates or drinks out. After successfully navigating postpartum intimacy a few times and realizing that your body no longer feels foreign, you may even find that you’re done breastfeeding. With your body back to being your own, intimacy becomes delightful again! You can’t believe how long you went without it — and now you both agree that it should happen more frequently.
5. Let’s Have Another Baby!
Once you’ve settled into a routine and enjoyed a drink or two, the idea of having another baby might sound exciting. Why not give it a try? At the very least, it means more intimate moments together, which sounds fantastic! Babies are adorable, and the thought of adding another child to your family can be thrilling. Don’t worry about the challenges of a second baby; you’re sure it will be easier this time around. Now, let’s get things started!
Remember, while intimacy is fulfilling, a good night’s sleep is equally important. So, practice safe intimacy!
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In summary, the journey of intimacy after having a baby is a unique experience, encompassing feelings ranging from reluctance to rediscovery. It’s essential to communicate openly with your partner and take things at your own pace while also prioritizing sleep and well-being.