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Parenting
Emotionally Healthy Interpretations of Things You Might Say to Your Kids
by Jamie Carter
Updated: Aug. 20, 2023
Originally Published: March 30, 2023
Yelling at your kids? That’s not your style! You took a Child Development course in college and strive to emulate the perfect parenting figures in children’s shows. Regardless, if you ever find yourself saying things you wish you hadn’t, here’s how those moments can still serve as valuable lessons for your little ones.
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“What’s the matter with you?”
This is a classic response when you catch your toddler coloring on the family pet with a permanent marker. Yet, even in a moment of frustration, you’re genuinely inviting a conversation. Your child might ponder, “What is going on with me? Perhaps I was a bit envious, or maybe my brain isn’t fully developed yet, which makes it hard to control my impulses.” You’ve opened a dialogue, and your child will appreciate the importance of self-reflection as they grow. -
“Please just let me be for a minute!”
If you’ve seen Leave it to Beaver: The Toddler Years, you might recall a frantic parent hiding in the restroom from their rambunctious kids during a snow day. This phrase teaches children valuable lessons, such as “Adults need personal time,” “It’s okay to take a breather sometimes,” and “Mommy’s face changes color when she feels overwhelmed.” -
“I’m turning this car around if you don’t settle down!”
This teaches your child the significance of safety while driving. If the driver is distracted by chaos, it becomes unsafe. Conversely, when you manage to open a snack while driving to calm a screaming toddler, it reassures them that you can handle any situation. Your child will know that you can stay composed even in a crisis—like a zombie apocalypse! -
“Get over here RIGHT NOW!”
This enthusiastic command will certainly grab your child’s attention. They might think, “Wow, my mom is so dedicated to keeping me close, especially when I’ve had a tough day because I skipped a nap after Daylight Savings!” They may even believe you’re calling them over for something fun, not just to prevent further mischief. -
“I’m leaving with or without you!”
Spoken in a moment of exasperation as you head to the car, this phrase prompts several realizations. Your child might wonder, “Does Mom think I can’t handle myself? Why would she drive alone to my preschool?” They’ll also learn that their actions—like not putting on shoes—can elicit strong reactions. And perhaps they’ll resolve never to make baseless threats when they grow up! -
“You can have a cookie if you just listen right now.”
Admittedly, this one doesn’t really impart valuable life lessons. In adulthood, rewards go far beyond just sugary treats. But hey, at least the previous examples were on point! And now that I’ve wrapped this up, I can finally indulge in that Frappuccino.
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In summary, even the moments of frustration can be transformed into teachable lessons for your children, helping them understand emotions and behaviors as they navigate their relationships and the world around them.