In today’s fast-paced world, the concept of “family time” often feels more like a chore than a joy. It seems like we are constantly pulling our loved ones away from their favorite activities to engage in seemingly quaint traditions, like playing poker or Scrabble. After a few hours of enforced togetherness, everyone retreats to their screens, leaving us to wonder if any real connection was made. This kind of obligatory bonding reminds us of what military families refer to as “mandatory fun”—those gatherings that you can’t opt out of, yet sometimes feel more burdensome than enjoyable.
Having spent over twenty years in the military, my partner, Mark, and I raised our children in a life filled with uncertainty and frequent relocations. The unpredictability of whether we’d be in one place for a year or three changed our perspective on family. Just like other professions that require frequent moves—such as in academia or healthcare—military families soon learn that instead of trying to schedule family time, we can find bonding moments in the everyday rhythm of life.
Here are three insights that any family can adopt to enhance their time together:
1. Everyday Errands Are Family Time.
Your immediate family is your core, and finding joy in simple tasks can strengthen your bond. Whether it’s figuring out how to navigate to a new doctor’s office or exploring the maze of an Ikea store, these shared experiences are valuable. You don’t need to plan extravagant outings; even mundane activities can foster connection.
2. Cherish Nearby Relationships.
It’s understandable to feel the weight of distance from relatives during special occasions. While your family may live far away, the friends and neighbors who are close by can become just as important. Embrace these relationships, even if they challenge your patience at times. Building a chosen family out of local friends can create a supportive circle for your family, especially during celebrations and everyday struggles.
3. Savor Casual Togetherness.
During one of our assignments in Texas, we were fortunate enough to have a house with a lovely backyard pool. Our Friday nights spent relaxing together as a family became cherished memories. Whether it’s enjoying lazy mornings in a big bed or splashing in a pool, take advantage of the spaces that bring you together. These moments of simple togetherness matter just as much as the grand events.
Military families have learned to appreciate life’s small joys, knowing that challenges are a part of life. This lesson in gratitude can benefit all families, including ours, as my husband has since retired. I eagerly anticipate our summer pool days, even if I need to pencil them in on the calendar.
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In summary, by learning from the adaptability and resilience of military families, all families can discover ways to enjoy their time together, whether through everyday activities, nurturing nearby relationships, or cherishing simple moments of togetherness.