As my eldest son, Alex, approaches the end of his junior year in high school, the pressure surrounding college preparations is intensifying. The looming tasks include ACT exams, financial aid workshops, and campus tours—it’s a lot for a teenager to handle, and it can be overwhelming for parents too.
According to the extensive college preparation checklists I’ve come across, I should be actively planning and worrying. Yet, I haven’t enrolled Alex in an ACT prep course, nor have I explored admission requirements at local universities. We haven’t visited any college fairs or researched scholarship options either.
To be honest, Alex’s chances of gaining admission to the more prestigious universities in our state are slim. He’s an average student, and merit-based financial aid seems unlikely. However, my indifference runs deeper than academic performance. While I recognize the value of higher education, I also believe that not every young adult is ready to dive straight into college right after high school—some may never be.
I can relate to this feeling. During my own high school years, I was more focused on social engagements and creative pursuits than academics. I excelled in classes I enjoyed, like drama and music, but often found myself distracted and disengaged during subjects like chemistry and trigonometry. It wasn’t merely a lack of study skills; it was a lack of motivation to invest effort into something I didn’t find rewarding.
When it came time for my peers to head off to college, I felt compelled to follow suit. I enrolled in a mid-sized state university alongside a friend. While I enjoyed the experience, my academic performance suffered, and I ultimately dropped out after four semesters, burdened with a disappointing GPA and a pile of student debt, with no clearer vision for my future than I had at 16.
Years later, after becoming a mother and gaining perspective, I returned to school. This time, I was determined and earned straight A’s. But once I discovered my potential as a freelance writer, making a decent living without a degree, I began to question whether college was the right avenue for me. The cost of education weighed heavily on my mind, and juggling my writing career with finishing my degree felt impossible.
Eventually, I decided to leave school for good, and I have no regrets about that choice. Now, over a decade later, I find myself in a peculiar position—trying to foster enthusiasm for something I didn’t feel passionate enough to complete myself.
The other day, Alex casually remarked, “College is a scam.” My instinctive reply was a defensive “No, it’s not!” But his point was valid—neither my husband, Jake, nor I completed our degrees, yet we’re doing well. Jake has a solid career in IT, built on determination and self-directed learning, while I’ve thrived as a full-time writer for nearly ten years. Together, we provide a comfortable life for our family.
I acknowledge that we are exceptions to the norm. A college degree can enhance job opportunities for many, and self-employment isn’t suited for everyone. I sometimes feel societal pressure regarding my nonchalant approach to Alex’s post-high school plans. However, my primary role as a parent is to appreciate each child’s unique path to adulthood, whether it aligns with conventional expectations or not.
It’s likely that some of our kids will want to pursue higher education, and while I might not fully grasp that desire, I support it. For Alex, whether he takes a year off, explores his interests, or forgoes college altogether to start a business, learn a trade, or pursue art and writing, as long as he’s engaged and striving, I will be proud of him.
In a world where the path to success varies widely, we should be open to different journeys. This mindset could alleviate a great deal of stress for young adults and help them avoid the pitfalls of overwhelming debt.
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In summary, while I understand the societal emphasis on college, my priority is to support my son in discovering his own path, whether that involves higher education or another avenue altogether.