Updated: April 1, 2020
Originally Published: March 16, 2015
“Instead of wasting time playing games like Draw Something, why not actually draw something? Channel the creativity you use in Words with Friends to whip up some incredible cornbread. How about Cornbread with Friends—give that a shot.” — Inspired by Nick Offerman
I propose a new Facebook meme: Tag five individuals whose posts today make you feel a twinge of envy. For instance, my post might read: “Today, I’m feeling envious of Laura Smith for her viral article in the New York Times, of Alex for squeezing in two yoga classes back-to-back, and of Eric and Marissa, who are enjoying eight luxurious days at a resort in the Bahamas with their family of four.”
The status update prompt asks, “What’s on your mind?” This new meme would delve deeper, allowing for a more authentic connection than my typical posts about hiking or my latest culinary experiment with free-range quail. By being vulnerable, we could foster closeness. As Brené Brown wisely states, “We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known.”
Once I tag my three friends, they can tag three others, and before long, the meme would go viral.
I cherish how Facebook keeps me in touch with the milestones of my high school best friend and updates about what my distant cousin Lisa had for dinner. The daily dose of inspirational quotes from my yoga pals sometimes uplifts me, too. However, I can’t help but feel a pang of envy at times. Just last month, Mark from my yoga training shared a profound MLK quote that garnered over 300 likes—no wonder he’s thriving! And then there’s Sarah, whose book received a glowing review in a major magazine. Why can’t I get that kind of attention for my writing?
This new meme could be quite therapeutic. Imagine discovering that the very people I envy—Laura, Alex, Eric, Marissa, Mark, and Sarah—also have their own sources of envy. It’s comforting to realize that Eric, who can afford a vacation in the Bahamas, might be coveting Jake’s flashy new car or his thriving relationship.
I don’t take pleasure in anyone else’s struggles. Instead, it serves as a reminder that we all yearn for more, which ultimately grounds me and brings me back to my center.
This approach works for two main reasons. First, recognizing that others, even those who seem to have it all, are still seeking more helps disrupt the cycle of envy. It reminds me that true happiness doesn’t stem from material possessions or accolades. Second, simply naming the feeling of envy can diminish its power. While scrolling through Facebook, I can easily become consumed by envy, letting it define me. But when I acknowledge and label it, I separate myself from that feeling, thus regaining my freedom. Rather than identifying with my envy, I can connect with a deeper part of myself that sees it as just one of many transient experiences.
Tapping into this deeper self is when I feel most alive and fulfilled. I know this, yet I often forget it—especially while browsing Facebook. I truly believe this meme could help realign my perspective.
Research from Humboldt University in Berlin indicates that a significant portion of individuals—around one in three—feel more dissatisfied with their lives after visiting Facebook. The most prevalent triggers include envy over vacation photos and comparing oneself to others’ social interactions, such as the number of likes or birthday wishes. A separate study from Utah Valley University found that increased Facebook usage correlates with a belief that friends are living happier lives.
This new meme could be particularly healing. The Berlin study noted that users who merely scroll without engaging are the most affected. By opening up and sharing our feelings, we might pave the way for positive change.
I’m convinced this meme could be a game changer. Are you on board?
Summary:
The article proposes a new Facebook meme encouraging users to tag five individuals whose posts invoke envy, fostering vulnerability and deeper connections. By acknowledging our feelings of envy, we can disrupt negative cycles and connect with our deeper selves, ultimately leading to greater happiness. Studies show that social media often exacerbates feelings of dissatisfaction, but this meme could provide a healing outlet for users.