Babies are intriguing creatures for many reasons, but perhaps the most captivating is their inability to communicate their thoughts. Once my daughter starts talking, I have no doubt she’ll share her honest opinions about life at home and the things she wishes I would change. For instance, she might complain about my decision to serve her cold milk, resulting in an unpleasant surprise. More likely, she would find numerous aspects of my daily routine to be oddly creepy from her perspective. Here are ten ways I’m certain I freak her out regularly:
- I watch her sleep. A lot. While video monitors are the norm, imagine trying to drift off knowing someone is observing you from a distance.
- I have a genuine urge to nibble on her cheeks and toes. I often describe them as “edible.” I’ve read there’s scientific reasoning behind this maternal instinct, but it doesn’t make it any less strange!
- I have an unusual fascination with her diaper contents. The frequency, the color—everything is of interest to me.
- I obsessively record her every move with photos and videos. Six months in, and I already have a treasure trove of images. It’s like I’m a crime show villain with a creepy wall of evidence—but instead, it’s all about my adorable daughter! And let’s not even talk about the ridiculous sounds I make to coax out her smiles for the camera.
- I sometimes skip showers. I can feel her judging me for this. If I were her caretaker, I’d be horrified by such negligence.
- I taste-test her baby food before serving it to her. Who wouldn’t want to know if the organic options are worth the splurge?
- I often refer to myself in the third person.
- Her rear-facing carseat means I’ve installed a mirror on the headrest to keep an eye on her while driving.
- I select her outfits based on my mood. A dreary Monday means we lean toward grays, while Fridays call for vibrant and fun choices.
- I often speak for her, concocting silly dialogues. If the roles were reversed, I’d be seriously annoyed. “Mommy is feeling a bit cranky today because she needs a nap. Oh, and maybe a diaper change!”
This article was originally published on March 9, 2015.
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In summary, navigating motherhood is filled with quirky behaviors that may seem bizarre from a baby’s perspective. From watching them sleep to dressing them based on our own moods, it’s clear that the parenting journey is as entertaining as it is challenging.