Updated: July 2, 2020
Originally Published: Feb. 25, 2015
The journey of pregnancy unfolds day by day, week by week, and yes, even pound by pound. Just when I think I’ve navigated one challenge, another emerges.
I’ve finally emerged from the exhausting phase of relentless headaches that escalated into migraines, making daily life feel nearly impossible. I should be grateful that I’m not constantly on the lookout for a trash can or a bathroom nearby. However, the baby has now taken to resting on my sciatic nerve, leaving me with intense pain that can feel immobilizing.
As I carry this new life, my breathing has become labored; the extra weight is pressing down on my lungs, making me feel older than my years. Looking in the mirror, I often see only imperfections and changes that seem overwhelming. It’s as if every part of me is trying to keep pace with this ongoing transformation.
I frequently encounter concerned comments from others: “Oh, you poor thing, you look exhausted. How are you holding up?” One of my favorites is when strangers exclaim, “Wow! You must be due any day now!” I can’t help but smile at their astonishment when I reveal just how much longer I have to go.
Selfishly, I miss my former toned physique, which has now transitioned into a more fatigued and softer version of myself. Laughing, sneezing, and coughing have become synonymous with an all-too-frequent urge to pee. Yes, that’s my new normal.
With a due date at the end of summer, the wait seems endless. Each hour brings a new mood, and I can’t help but wish for time to fast forward to a safe delivery. Some days, my feet feel like they’re dragging, while on others, they stomp in frustration, reminiscent of a toddler throwing a tantrum. Pushing through evenings past dinner feels like the final stretch of a marathon.
I find myself alternating between laughter and tears, often unsure of the reason behind either emotion. Sleep—what a beautiful concept—has become a luxury I can hardly remember. After my first pregnancy, I learned that sleep would become a distant memory. Between comforting my other children and countless trips to the bathroom, the act of relieving myself has turned into a chore.
Despite the challenges, what pulls me through is the joy of feeling my baby kick and move at unexpected moments, reminding me of the life growing inside me. Even after three pregnancies, this wonder never ceases to amaze me. Watching my other children gently place their hands on my belly, talk to, and kiss this little one is one of the most heartwarming aspects of this experience.
I think about the magical moment when my newborn will be placed on my chest—a moment of pure empowerment, bringing life into the world once again. The thought of hearing her tiny gulps while nursing evokes a sense of bonding that is beyond words. I can already envision the tranquility of holding her close, feeling her delicate breaths against my ear, a sound so precious it could make any mother’s heart swell.
I anticipate the day her eyes will meet mine, where she will recognize the person who would cross oceans for her. I picture the moment when her tiny fingers will grasp my own and the instinctual rush to her side when she cries out for me, despite my exhaustion. The pride I’ll feel, even with wrinkles and bags under my eyes, will be overshadowed by the love for this perfect little being.
These hardships may feel never-ending but are merely fleeting compared to the years ahead, God willing, that I will spend nurturing her and watching her grow. No matter how arduous this pregnancy has been, the ache for this experience will return almost immediately after delivery. Each day presents a humbling yet uplifting experience.
How can I feel both overwhelmed and grateful at the same time? In moments of despair, I remind myself of the incredible blessing I’ve been given: to be this little girl’s mother. It’s safe to say, I’m already in love with a precious piece of heaven that I have yet to meet.
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Summary:
Pregnancy is a complex and multifaceted journey filled with physical challenges and emotional highs and lows. As the body undergoes significant changes, the anticipation of welcoming a new life brings joy amid discomfort. Despite the struggles, the love for the unborn child shines brightly, reminding expectant mothers of the miracle of life they are carrying.