10 Insights to Anticipate from Your Tween

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As a parent navigating the tween years, I’ve witnessed a whirlwind of transformations in my child after she turned ten. Initially, the changes were subtle and sporadic, but then they hit like a freight train, propelling her fully into tweenhood. This stage is marked by an awkward in-between phase where they’re too mature for playdates yet too young for dating. You’ll notice a mix of attitude and a newfound disdain for almost everything, much like a teenager.

These years can be challenging, and I often find myself taking deep breaths and trying to count to ten—though I rarely make it amidst her expressive grunts and stomps. If you’re also parenting a tween, here are some things to brace yourself for during these tumultuous years.

  1. Mood Swings Galore
    Prepare yourself for rapid mood shifts that can lead to whiplash. One moment they’re cheerful, and the next, they’re sobbing. Don’t stress about what triggered the change; the reason is likely a mystery even to them.
  2. Avoid Direct Eye Contact
    Steering clear of direct eye contact is advisable, as it can provoke unwanted emotional outbursts. Remember, they are perpetually on the brink of a breakdown.
  3. Last-Minute Decisions
    Always allow extra time for your tween’s indecision. They may change outfits, hairstyles, or shoes multiple times. To avoid delays, consider setting your clock 20 minutes ahead.
  4. Disdain for Everything
    Your tween may express strong negative opinions about most things. It’s best not to take this personally, as their preferences are often limited.
  5. Frequent Eye Rolling
    Rolling their eyes is a typical behavior during interactions. Don’t worry; it’s just part of their growing independence.
  6. Watch for Body Changes
    Physical changes are inevitable, along with their emotional responses. Approach the subject delicately; for instance, you might say, “I’m going bra shopping today. Want to join me for one of your own?”
  7. Spontaneous Tears
    Beyond mood swings, prepare for waves of tears that can be extreme. These episodes can be overwhelming, with breathless sobs making it hard to decipher their words. Simply nod and wait it out.
  8. Keep Your Distance
    When they’re with friends, it’s essential to maintain a safe distance—think of it as an invisible boundary. Affectionate gestures like hugs are generally off-limits during these moments.
  9. Communication via Grunts
    Grunts may become the primary form of communication. As emotions bubble up, you’ll hear various grunts that express feelings, with long, drawn-out ones often meaning “No,” “Not now,” or similar sentiments.
  10. Energy Levels at an All-Time Low
    While this may seem like laziness, consider that emotional fluctuations can be draining for both you and your tween. Patience is key.

Remember, this phase, although lengthy, is just that—a phase. Soon they’ll transition into full-blown teenagers, amplifying all the experiences you’re currently facing. Hang in there!

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Summary

Navigating the tween years involves significant mood changes, strong opinions, and an evolving communication style. While challenging, these years are a temporary phase that leads to teenagehood.