Living with a 12-year-old girl often feels like cohabiting with a mini version of the Hulk—one moment sweet and singing in the shower, and the next, a whirlwind of sass and drama. As a mom in my 40s, I find myself navigating the emotional rollercoaster alongside my daughter, Emily, who is on the brink of adolescence while I’m attempting to embrace midlife. In this journey, we sometimes collide, finding common ground through laughter, eye rolls, and affectionate hugs. While I occasionally question if I should be acting my age—whatever that entails—our shared experiences over nail polish, young adult novels, and the trials of friendship create some of our most cherished moments.
Here are 10 ways I, a 40-something mom, am surprisingly similar to my tween daughter:
- Jeans Dilemma: We both favor skinny jeans, yet I can’t shake the feeling that they may not be entirely suitable for either of us. My trendy pair feels chic, while hers might be pushing the limits of fashion—did she just point out that my jeans look a bit snug?
- Acne Struggles: We both experience breakouts that leave us feeling less than fabulous. It turns out that hormones don’t discriminate—they just manifest differently depending on our age.
- Nail Polish Swap: We often borrow from each other’s nail polish collections. Whether it’s the chatter, the music, or the soothing hand massage, there’s something special about sharing this moment together. Our current favorite is a lovely shade called Sugarplum, available for just $2.99.
- Unexpected Hair Growth: Both of us are discovering unwanted hair in surprising places. While Emily can take care of hers with waxing, I’m looking at a future involving electrolysis.
- Dystopian Novels: We share a passion for action-packed young adult novels infused with romance. Who doesn’t enjoy a story about a brave girl escaping her mundane life to save the world? We can’t wait to catch the movie adaptation together!
- Colorful Language: Our use of words like “freakin’” and “crap” has escalated. My subtle swearing now sounds much more pronounced coming from a 12-year-old. Either we need to clean up our language or embrace our shared “trash talk.” Double crap!
- Crushes on TV Characters: We both describe our favorite characters on shows like Nashville as “hot” (I’m a fan of Deacon, while she crushes on Gunnar). When did she learn that “hot” has nothing to do with temperature, and is Nashville even suitable for her age?
- Exercise Aversion: Running feels like a punishment to both of us. I remember dreading PE classes and questioning why anyone would choose to sweat voluntarily. Let’s just agree to invest in matching Converse sneakers instead.
- Friendship Fears: Both of us grapple with insecurities about friendships. While I may be older, I still have my doubts and moments of feeling left out. The difference is that I’ve learned how to navigate these feelings, enabling me to support her through similar struggles.
- Chasing Dreams Together: Emily is a talented singer in her school rock band, and I’m her biggest cheerleader. Watching her perform fills my heart with pride, and recently, I even got to live out my dream of being in an all-girls band at a school fundraiser. She might have been a bit embarrassed, but she was still there rooting for me.
Parenting a tween can be intense, but it’s the moments of connection that truly sustain me, even if my jeans might be a tad too tight. For more on parenting journeys, check out this insightful post on couples’ fertility journeys.
In summary, while the age gap between me and my daughter may be significant, our shared experiences and struggles create a strong bond that carries us through the challenges of adolescence and midlife. The emotional highs and lows we face together not only deepen our relationship but also remind us that we’re navigating this journey side by side.