Toddlers: The Universal Answer to Life’s Questions

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People often ask, “What’s the purpose of life?” Some might suggest it’s about love and connection, while others might argue it’s about fame and fortune. Personally, I’m too drained by the relentless energy of my kids to truly contemplate that existential question. However, I can provide a straightforward answer to countless other queries. If you’re a parent dealing with a spirited, giggling, nap-evading, tantrum-prone little one, I can sum up nearly every question you have in a single word: Toddlers.

Skeptical? Consider these common inquiries:

  • What’s that odor? Toddlers.
  • Why am I so exhausted? Toddlers.
  • Who pilfered my socks? Toddlers.
  • What’s that stain on my coat? Toddlers.
  • Who’s sharing my bed? Toddlers.
  • What happened to my sticky notes? Toddlers.
  • Why is there something floating in my drink? Toddlers.
  • Why must I prepare dinner daily? Toddlers.
  • How did I end up with so many gray hairs? Toddlers.
  • Who devoured my sandwich? Toddlers.
  • What should I chat about with the cashier? Toddlers.
  • Why am I awake so early? Toddlers.
  • Why can’t I fall asleep? Toddlers.
  • Why am I watching cartoons alone? Toddlers.
  • Why is my home a disaster? Toddlers.
  • What’s that noise? Toddlers.
  • Who put my hairbrush in the toilet? Toddlers.
  • Who urinated on the couch? Toddlers.
  • Why do I have pudding in my hair? Toddlers.
  • Why am I constantly forgetting things? Toddlers.
  • Who drew on the walls? Toddlers.
  • Why haven’t I showered this week? Toddlers.
  • Why can’t I get any work done? Toddlers.
  • Why does my car resemble a graveyard for Goldfish crackers? Toddlers.
  • How did a banana end up in my shoe? Toddlers.
  • Who’s controlling my life? Toddlers.

One word, two syllables. The answer to virtually any question you might pose. You’re welcome.

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In summary, toddlers are the root cause of many of life’s mysteries and challenges for parents. They are the answer to the chaos, exhaustion, and occasional absurdity of daily life.