Last evening, as I strolled through the nearly deserted mall with my two youngest children, I noticed you five girls trailing behind us at a distance. We had just come from a movie, our spirits high as we headed to meet four of my older kids. We paused for a moment at one of those cutout boards where you stick your faces through the holes for a fun photo. I caught a glimpse of you all—giggling, enjoying yourselves, and clearly in a good mood. Having raised teenage girls myself, I know how much joy they can find in each other’s company.
You seemed like a lively bunch, not at all menacing. However, as we continued walking, I realized the gap between us was closing. My son had fallen a few paces behind while adjusting his earbuds, lost in whatever music a typical 13-year-old boy might enjoy. If you had seen his playlist, you would have understood that he’s not just any 13-year-old; he was likely listening to Disney songs, the Muppets, or a preschool favorite called The Fresh Beat Band. It was probably only when he darted to catch up with us that you noticed he was “different.” He runs on his toes with an awkward gait, and I can imagine how a 6’3” young man doing so might have appeared amusing to you.
As the mall was quiet enough, I heard your innocent laughter morph into something far more contemptuous. I knew what was happening before I turned around, but I couldn’t resist. When I turned, I saw one of you mimicking my son’s movements, flailing your arms as you laughed. My son and his little sister were blissfully unaware, lost in their own world. They both have special needs and were oblivious to the shift in my expression. I took a few steps back toward you, and your laughter faltered. I must have looked quite imposing, as my mood shifted from lighthearted to furious in an instant.
I can’t recall my exact words, but I believe I said something along the lines of, “My son has autism. I hope you aren’t making fun of him.” Your stammering denials—“We’re not! We’re not making fun of anyone!”—made me question myself momentarily, but then I remembered the girl on the far left, who had been imitating my son as the rest of you laughed.
Silently, I turned back to my children, relieved that my son had his headphones in and probably wouldn’t have grasped the exchange anyway. As we walked away, I reminded myself that you are just kids—likely nice girls most of the time. One of you acted impulsively, mocking my son, while the other four simply followed along. I had to consider that you all have families who love you as deeply as I love my children, and you may have your own struggles to face. Perhaps you genuinely thought that mocking someone was harmless fun, not realizing the impact it could have.
Maybe in your school, children with special needs are segregated, or perhaps it’s commonplace among your peers to laugh at their differences. My son, Tate, attends a small school in our tight-knit community, where his classmates accept him for who he is, helping him fit in rather than ridiculing him. In fact, had some of his friends been with him that night, they would likely have confronted you more directly than I did.
Honestly, I’m unsure if confronting you was the right choice. I’ve never witnessed anyone mock my son before, and in thirteen years, I can’t recall a single instance of him being made fun of. Perhaps there were moments I didn’t catch, but I prefer to think you are the first. How does that make you feel? You broke a thirteen-year streak for us.
If statistics hold true, it’s likely that one of you will grow up to have a child or grandchild with a disability. I don’t wish that on you, but if it ever happens, I hope you experience a longer streak without bullying than I have. More importantly, I hope that if your loved ones ever face bullying, you won’t be able to recall the time you laughed at a child with special needs, causing pain to a mother. That burden could be too heavy to bear.
It’s crucial to foster kindness and empathy in our interactions, especially as we navigate the complexities of growing up. For those seeking guidance in similar situations, consider checking out this insightful piece on building friendships as a new mom. You may also find useful information about home insemination options at this excellent resource.
In summary, while young and likely unaware of the consequences of your actions, it’s important to reflect on how our words and actions can affect others, especially those who are different from us. I hope this serves as a reminder to choose kindness over cruelty.