As a parent of three (a baby, a five-year-old, and a seven-year-old), I frequently encounter unsolicited parenting advice, both in person and online. I understand that people often feel compelled to share their insights, thinking they’ve discovered the secret to effective parenting. However, I wish they would just keep their opinions to themselves. Here are six common pieces of unsolicited advice I’ve received, along with how I’d prefer to respond—if I weren’t trying to be polite.
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Isn’t he cold without a jacket?
Absolutely, he probably is. But honestly, I don’t always know what he last wore, and that includes his socks. I told him to grab a jacket, but at seven years old, he listens about as well as a cat. After wrestling him into the bathtub nightly, I simply don’t have the energy to battle over a jacket. If he wants to learn the hard way by feeling chilly, so be it!
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Breastfeeding is the best option for babies.
Thanks for the tip, Captain Obvious. The reality is my wife planned to breastfeed our first child, but due to her demanding job and lack of support (like a designated pumping area), she had to switch to formula after a month. Can we still be friends even if we don’t follow your “best practices”?
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If you really cared about your kids, you wouldn’t take them to fast food.
If you had kids, you’d understand how unrealistic that sounds. McDonald’s is a force of nature; kids love it, and sometimes, convenience wins out over nutrition. I despise the place, but every now and then, it’s just what we need to survive the day.
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Keeping a clean house isn’t impossible with kids.
When you mention “maintaining” a clean home, are you suggesting we lock the kids outside with a bowl of food until they’re grown? Because my children are like little tornadoes, leaving a trail of toys and chaos in their wake. I once discovered two pairs of underwear in my freezer, and I’m pretty sure the Silly Putty between the couch cushions has become a permanent resident. How does your advice fit into this mess?
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Letting your baby cry will help her sleep through the night.
You may be right, but I just can’t do that. I can’t handle it emotionally. So, I’ll endure the sleepless nights until she figures it out on her own. When I share my exhaustion with you, I’m not looking for advice—just an understanding ear.
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Preventing public tantrums starts at home.
I’m guessing you had a different approach when raising children. I work hard to teach my kids how to behave, but once we step outside, they sometimes transform into demanding little beings. Most of the time, they are lovely, but those rare outbursts are part of their learning process. Just remember, witnessing a meltdown isn’t the full picture of our parenting.
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Summary
Parenting often invites unsolicited advice, which can be frustrating. The reality is that every family is different, and what works for one might not work for another. I’ve shared a few examples of common advice I receive and how I’d prefer to respond—if only I weren’t trying to be nice about it.