Navigating the journey of parenting a child with special needs can be incredibly challenging, demanding immense patience, dedication, and resilience. Among the hurdles that special needs parents face, well-meaning yet thoughtless remarks often rank high on the list of frustrations. These comments frequently arise from a desire to offer comfort or encouragement, but they can also stem from ignorance. I’ve encountered my share of these remarks while caring for my son, Noah, who is now 4 and lives with hemiparesis and cerebral palsy due to a stroke he experienced in utero. The reality of being a special needs parent can feel isolating, especially when it becomes clear that others might prefer to overlook the genuine emotions and struggles that come with the territory.
If you want to support a parent of a child with special needs, here are five phrases to avoid, particularly when they are just embarking on this path.
- “God only gives special children to special parents.” While this phrase seems to convey reassurance, it inadvertently suggests that the parents are somehow uniquely chosen to bear this burden. No parent wants to feel that their child’s challenges were divinely assigned or that they are somehow being punished.
- “You can hardly tell anything is wrong with him.” This statement does more harm than good, as it implies that there is a “normal” standard that should be met. Suggesting that a child is “close” to normal can feel dismissive and hurtful, reinforcing the idea that they are somehow inadequate.
- “What do those doctors know, anyway?” Disregarding a child’s diagnosis only intensifies the feelings of isolation for parents. Rather than dismissing professional opinions, it’s more helpful to engage in discussions about treatment options and strategies for raising their child.
- “I’d sue the doctors and hospital if I were you.” It’s impossible to truly know what one would do in another’s shoes. Even in cases of potential malpractice, the focus for many parents is often more about finding ways to help their child now rather than dwelling on past grievances.
- “I know just how you feel.” Unless you’ve experienced the exact same situation, it’s unlikely you can fully understand their feelings. This comment often serves to highlight the disconnect rather than foster empathy.
Understanding what to say and when can be tricky. The most valuable support you can offer is to listen and validate the parents’ experiences. Simply being present and offering a shoulder to lean on can mean the world to them.
For those looking for fertility support, check out these boost fertility supplements, as well as this resource for expert insight on the challenges of conception. Also, don’t forget to refer to March of Dimes for valuable information on pregnancy and home insemination.
Summary
Special needs parents face unique challenges and often encounter well-meaning but misguided advice. Understanding what comments to avoid can help create a more supportive environment. Listening and validating their feelings is crucial in providing the support they truly need.