8 Things They Don’t Mention About Pregnancy

Adult human female anatomy diagram chartAt home insemination

When you find yourself expecting, you might quickly realize how misleading popular media can be. In films, pregnancy is often portrayed as a magical event confined to the lower body. Your uterus expands like a balloon, pops in a dramatic scene, and moments later, there’s a baby. Besides a few emotional moments and unexpected cravings, nothing else truly changes. The reality? Pregnancy is a total-body experience filled with surprises and challenges that go well beyond the surface. Sure, you might have cravings for pickles, deal with stretch marks, and experience a sudden influx of unsolicited belly touches, but there’s a myriad of other aspects no one seems to discuss. Here are eight things you probably won’t hear about pregnancy…

  1. Mucus Madness: Just like kids who can’t resist picking their noses, you’ll find yourself doing the same. During pregnancy, your body produces a surprising amount of mucus, leading to a never-ending cycle of boogers. Forget delicate little nasal specks; you’ll be confronted with some serious surprises that belong in a horror flick. If you have little ones, just let go of the dream of keeping them from picking their noses—just hope they can hold off while in public places.
  2. Bizarre Dreams: Get ready for some wild night-time adventures. Your dreams will become a chaotic blend of surrealism and anxiety. One night, I found myself in a classroom where a famous horror author was teaching floral arrangements, and the next day, a rogue hobo stole our camera. You’ll wake up drenched in sweat after dreaming that the world faced an apocalypse because you misplaced your umbrella. It’s like reliving college but without the nicotine patches.
  3. Underwear Overload: Just because your monthly visitor is absent doesn’t mean your underwear collection is safe. You might find yourself going through multiple pairs of underwear daily. Forget the cute euphemisms about “increased discharge.” You’ll likely find yourself sweating profusely, particularly in the more intimate areas. Consider stocking up on more essentials from Victoria’s Secret; you’ll be glad you did when laundry day arrives.
  4. Nesting Instinct Gone Wild: While many talk about feeling an urge to nest, they don’t mention how it can feel like you just downed three Adderall before an exam. You’ll feel an unstoppable drive to clean and organize, pushing through exhaustion like it’s nothing. I remember trying to disassemble a bed while barefoot, ignoring the pain as I stubbed my toes, all because I felt this overwhelming need to get things done. But trust me, you’ll crash hard after these bursts of energy.
  5. Aches and Pains Galore: Yes, your hips will widen, and your feet will ache, but don’t forget about your hands and wrists! Around the third trimester, I always faced carpal tunnel syndrome and had to wear those ridiculous wrist braces. Despite what the so-called experts say, don’t hesitate to take that Tylenol if you’re in pain; it’s not worth your comfort to be a martyr.
  6. Weight Remarks: Prepare for unsolicited comments about your body. Everyone—including total strangers—will feel entitled to know when your due date is. If you mention a date too far away, get ready for accusations of being ‘too heavy’, and if it’s too close, you might be told you’re ‘too thin’. During my last pregnancy, I faced these judgments even when I was only a few weeks along! A fellow mom once expressed her shock at my early stage of pregnancy, and it took every ounce of restraint not to react. If only I had told her I was battling cancer instead.
  7. Raging Hormones: You might start feeling uncharacteristically irritable. Drivers cutting you off suddenly seem to be on a mission to harm your baby. Casual comments about your appearance can trigger intense anger. Even the simplest things can become objects of your wrath. When these feelings arise, take a moment to breathe and listen to some music to help calm your spirit; it will pass.
  8. Focus on Your Breasts: Yes, they’ll grow and possibly become sensitive. Yet the fashion industry seems to believe that since you’re pregnant, you must display your breasts at all costs. Forget about normal necklines; it’s all about accentuating your curves. Embrace the attention while you can, as you’ll soon transform into a milk-producing machine post-delivery.

What surprising aspects of pregnancy did you discover?

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Summary: Pregnancy is a multifaceted experience that goes beyond the typical portrayals in movies. From the unexpected mucus production to bizarre dreams and the relentless aches, the journey is filled with surprises. You might find yourself nesting like a whirlwind, dealing with unsolicited comments about your body, and feeling a mix of rage and tenderness. It’s a time of transformation, both physically and emotionally.