By: Jamie Collins
Updated: Aug. 20, 2023
Originally Published: Jan. 6, 2023
In an often chaotic world, parents from all walks of life—whether your child is a toddler or a teenager, a soccer player or an aspiring astronaut—share a fundamental truth: We’re all just trying to make it through each day. This journey requires a dash of creativity, a sprinkle of cleverness, and quite a few unconventional strategies. If your current parenting tactics might raise eyebrows at family gatherings, rest assured you’re not alone. Embrace these ten relatable survival techniques that many parents employ.
1. Sniffing Your Child’s Bottom
When an unexpected odor wafts through the air, there’s no better way to identify the source than a quick sniff of your little one’s rear. If you find that the stench isn’t coming from them, it might be time to check your own undergarments—just in case! While you could play Peek-A-Poo, a method I prefer to avoid due to potential disasters, this approach is much less risky.
2. Claiming Kids’ Leftovers as Your Meal
Stale cereal, shriveled green beans, or even the last remnants of a chicken nugget can become a perfectly acceptable lunch in a pinch. As long as it’s drool-free, it’s fair game!
3. Using Your Shirt for Nose Wipes
When faced with a snotty nose and no tissues in sight, your shirt can serve as an emergency clean-up tool. Yes, it’s not the most hygienic option, but it’s just mucus—of all the fluids our little ones produce, snot is the least harmful.
4. Turning on the TV for a Breather
Sometimes, you just need a moment to catch your breath—be it to get work done, exercise, or simply to relax. While you don’t want the TV to replace personal interaction, a brief distraction can allow you to regain some sanity while managing the chaos around you.
5. Administering a Wipe Bath
On particularly exhausting days, the thought of a full bath can be overwhelming. Instead, a quick wipe-down with a diaper wipe can work wonders to clean off sticky hands or faces before bedtime.
6. Counting Cereal Bars as Fruit Servings
If a cereal bar claims to be apple or berry-flavored, you might convince yourself that it counts as a fruit serving. At least it’s not candy—at least, not until after noon!
7. Opening a Snack Bag in the Store
When your kids are restless in the grocery aisle, cracking open a bag of Goldfish crackers can be a lifesaver. They may not realize the store isn’t a buffet just yet, but today is definitely not the day to teach them that lesson.
8. Using Kids as an Excuse to Duck Out of Plans
Not in the mood for a social event? Blame it on the kids! A simple, “Oh, they didn’t nap well today,” can save you from an unwanted obligation. After all, parents deserve a break every now and then, right?
9. Keeping Kids in Pajamas All Day
Judging by my children’s attire during grocery trips, one might think they own nothing but pajamas. Whether it’s morning or afternoon, those cozy jammies often stay on all day. Sometimes, I even join them in the pajama-clad experience—it’s all about family bonding and creating memories!
10. Putting Kids to Bed Early for Your Own Sanity
When it comes to mental wellness, prioritizing your own needs is crucial. If that means tucking the kids in a bit earlier than usual, so be it. Would you rather have a calm parent or kids lying awake, pondering the universe?
As we navigate the thrilling yet exhausting journey of parenthood, these survival strategies serve as reminders that we’re all in this together. Whatever works for you is valid, and you can take comfort in knowing that many parents share your experiences. If you happen to snag a few crackers from my kids while grocery shopping, consider it a good deed in the name of solidarity!
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Summary
Parenting is a challenging adventure filled with unique survival techniques that help parents navigate daily chaos. From using unconventional methods to manage cleanliness to finding clever ways to get some downtime, these strategies highlight the shared experiences of parents everywhere. Remember, if you feel like you’re winging it, you’re definitely not alone!