In the whirlwind of parenting, there are certain phrases that most mothers, including myself—Megan from Home Insemination Kit—know should never escape our lips. Among them are the two words: “Be quiet.” But why is it frowned upon to say this to our children?
In an ideal scenario, I would seize each interruption as a golden opportunity for teaching. I’d kneel down to my child’s level, gently place my hand on their shoulder, and patiently explain that while I genuinely want to hear what they have to say, interrupting isn’t polite. I’d invite them to return when I can give them my full attention, creating a perfect parenting moment worthy of a sentimental painting.
However, I reside in reality, where one of my children demands my attention every few seconds. While I truly want to hear their thoughts (maybe!), I have a long to-do list—most of it revolving around their needs. Sometimes, they simply need to be told to be quiet.
Take a typical morning: I settle at my desk to tackle bills, review schedules, sign forms, and plan meals. To keep my kids occupied while I work, I might put on a show or provide them with an activity. Generally, they are content—until I need to make a phone call.
At the precise moment I pick up the phone, my children suddenly become overwhelmed with an urgent need to communicate loudly. “I’m hungry!” “What’s for lunch?” “She’s touching me!” These declarations, while amusing, are rarely urgent and typically come flooding in as soon as I try to focus.
I prepare for these calls, often needing to express my frustration to customer service reps about their inadequacies. I get myself worked up into a furious rant, ready to unleash my well-crafted complaints. But instead of starting with my witty retorts, I find myself asking the representative to hold on while I shush my children, hoping for a moment of peace. Unfortunately, it lasts only a short while before they return, eager to share their latest thoughts—usually about food or a toy.
In situations like this, a simple “be quiet” becomes an effective and efficient way to communicate that I need silence immediately. My kids understand what a phone is and that it means I’m occupied. When they interrupt anyway, they’re often just being a little difficult.
Initially, I felt guilty for using this approach, but the truth is I’m too drained to coddle them with gentle language all the time. There are moments when a softer touch is necessary, especially when they’re toddlers, but shielding them from direct language won’t do them any favors in the long run. There’s a balance between ensuring their safety and enabling them to become insufferable.
It’s crucial for kids to recognize that they are not always the center of the universe. They need to experience being told off, and it’s perfectly fine for them to feel discomfort when they’ve crossed a line. Clear communication helps everyone understand expectations, as children will exploit any ambiguity to their advantage.
I don’t frequently resort to telling my kids to be quiet, but when I do, they know to stop talking immediately unless someone is genuinely hurt or in danger. And for me, that’s a valuable lesson.
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Summary
Parenting often demands clear communication, and sometimes that means telling your kids to be quiet. While the ideal scenario involves gentle teaching moments, the reality is that interruptions can make it necessary to set boundaries. Kids need to learn they aren’t always the center of attention and that it’s okay to feel discomfort when they misbehave. Striking a balance between gentleness and authority enables children to grow into respectful individuals.