After nearly four years back in the workforce, I can confidently say that the transition from being a stay-at-home mom to a working mother has been fraught with challenges. While I received plenty of accolades for my decision to stay home, the cheers for my current role are few and far between. Sure, there are the occasional compliments like, “You’re like a superhero!” But I know that the underlying message often suggests, “You must be failing your children by working.”
The pressures of balancing work and family can be overwhelming, and working mothers often find themselves navigating a minefield of expectations from both employers and children. Here are ten remarks we would rather not hear:
- “I could NEVER leave my kids at daycare!” While you might genuinely feel this way, not all of us have the luxury of choice. This comment can come off as judging—so maybe keep it to yourself.
- “It would be great if you could volunteer more at school; your child would appreciate it!” I absolutely get that school involvement is important, but I already contribute as much as I can. I wish we could focus on education rather than parental presence.
- “Hello, Ms. Thompson? You need to pick up your child; he has a fever.” This dreaded call always comes at the worst time, right when I’m buried in work. I love my child dearly, but it’s hard not to spiral into thoughts of job security when illness strikes.
- “Can’t you at least help coach this season?” The reality is, my evenings are already crammed with family duties. Coaching is not feasible when I’m juggling dinner, homework, and quality time.
- “We’re moving lessons to 4 PM instead of 5:30 PM!” Why are so many kid activities scheduled during work hours? It just feels isolating to know I can’t be involved due to my job.
- “Nice purse! I wish I could afford one like that.” This might seem innocent, but it often implies that I’m spending my earnings on luxuries rather than necessities for my family.
- “Maybe he’d be calmer if he spent more time with you.” Ouch. This kind of comment hits hard and makes me question my choices as a working mom.
- “Couldn’t you just go part-time? You’re gone too often!” Many don’t realize that part-time daycare costs are often just as high as full-time care. I explored this option, but it simply didn’t work out financially.
- “HOW DO YOU DO IT?” While it sounds like praise, it often feels more like a challenge. There’s a presumption that I must be neglecting something at home to manage my work-life balance.
- “Don’t you miss your kids while at work?” Of course, I do! But dwelling on this sentiment doesn’t help pay the bills, so let’s skip this one.
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In summary, working mothers often face unique challenges that are compounded by the comments and expectations of others. Navigating work and family life is a delicate balancing act, and a little understanding can go a long way.