$90 for a Throw Pillow? Seriously, Joanna?

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Updated: Feb. 19, 2021
Originally Published: April 7, 2017

I first discovered the charm of Joanna a few years ago when she introduced me to the magic of shiplap. Who knew such a simple design element could ignite my excitement more than a tub of ice cream? Joanna made me want to cover my walls in horizontal boards, and suddenly, I found myself needing a farmhouse sink and sleek stainless steel countertops. Her design skills are remarkable, and everything she touches seems to transform into something extraordinary. Along with her husband, Chip, they have a knack for turning rundown buildings into breathtaking family homes, all while keeping it budget-friendly.

One of my favorite pastimes is binge-watching Fixer Upper. Watching those incredible makeovers often leaves me standing in my dining room, sledgehammer in one hand, paintbrush in the other, dreaming about tearing down walls and adding rustic beams (after I’ve put up shiplap, of course). My thoughts race: “I absolutely need to open up this space and give it some character, like, right now!”

So, when I learned that Joanna was launching her own line of home accessories, I was thrilled. After all, the show is all about fixing up homes on a budget, using salvaged materials and upcycling. Joanna knows what it’s like to have kids and pets running around, making a mess. Surely, her Magnolia Home line would be reasonably priced, right? She understands that home decor is constantly changing, and spending a fortune on throw pillows seems impractical.

I could already envision my home filled with her stylish accents, impressing guests as they admired the decor. Would my living space finally look like it belongs on HGTV? You bet it would!

But then reality hit me hard. Joanna, $90 for a throw pillow? Are you for real? You must be joking. I refuse to part with that much cash for just 22 inches of fabric. As a fellow mother, you know what happens to throw pillows—they end up smeared with boogers, pizza sauce, and juice, not to mention the gum wrappers and lollipop sticks they attract. They often serve as makeshift sleds for kids, fort-building materials, and, at some point, they will inevitably be used as cushions for bare bottoms.

Where’s the budget-friendly option here? You became famous for your ability to transform homes affordably—how about offering a pillow that doesn’t cost the same as a week’s worth of groceries?

And what’s with the throw blankets? Are they woven from the tears of golden unicorns? Because if they’re not, I’m going to be cursing when my dog claims it as his favorite napping spot or when my son uses it as a drop cloth while fixing his bike. He’d rather kneel on that plush blanket than the old towel I asked him to use (for the 45th time).

A rug for $2,300? Seriously? Is it somehow capable of babysitting, serving drinks, and cleaning itself? If not, I’d rather save my money for something more practical, like funding my kids’ college education. With kids and pets, rugs typically don’t last long. It’s best to go for inexpensive options or go without.

Don’t get me wrong, Joanna; your collection is stunning. I expect nothing less. Those throws would look fantastic on my couch, but let’s be honest, it wouldn’t take long for them to get ruined by the kids or pets.

I’m frustrated, Joanna. Whenever you have something that aligns with the Fixer Upper ethos without the exorbitant price tag, do let us know. Until then, I’ll be cozying up with my $5.99 throw pillows from T.J. Maxx (which have a faint scent of apple juice) draped in my clearance Target throw while my kids turn the dining room rug into a taco.

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Summary:

This article humorously critiques Joanna’s high-priced home decor line while reflecting on the realities of parenting and home life. It expresses disappointment at the cost of throw pillows and other home accessories, emphasizing the need for affordable options that align with the Fixer Upper budget-friendly philosophy.