Growing up in the ‘80s was undeniably epic. I reveled in sporting towering bangs, creating mixtapes, and dreaming about the day I’d be living the futuristic life I imagined. I thought adulthood would be so spectacular that I’d need shades just to cope with the brilliance. Fast forward to today, and while those Ray-Bans may still be in fashion, the view isn’t quite what I envisioned. Here are nine reasons why my adult life falls short of those childhood dreams:
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My Car Stays Grounded.
I learned to drive on a 1985 manual Jetta, which my parents proudly declared was “cool.” However, as I struggled to shift gears going uphill—with a line of honking cars behind me—I realized it felt anything but cool. I had dreams of zipping around in a Jetsons-esque flying car, but now my mundane Honda minivan is what I rely on. -
No Robot to Help Me.
As a child, I was convinced that by now, every household would have a robot maid. When my parents urged me to clean my room, I just knew my future robot would handle it all, from breakfast-making to getting us dressed with its laser beams. Sadly, my Roomba hardly lives up to that fantasy. -
Muscle Tone Expectations.
In my teenage years, I never once considered my abs or arms. Back then, I was more focused on oversized blazers and pleated pants than on fitness. Now, in my 40s, there’s pressure to fit into skinny jeans and sportswear, while I wish I could just hide my post-baby belly under a cozy Outback Red sweater. Thanks for nothing, modern fashion! -
A Lack of Unusual Friends.
With characters like Mork and Alf in my childhood, I assumed I’d have quirky alien or robotic friends by now. I imagined having a buddy who would add excitement to my life with their antics. Instead, I find myself friendless in the otherworldly department. -
No Moon Visits.
I had grand plans for my 40th birthday party on the moon, believing it would be a reality by now. Unfortunately, it seems the moon has fallen off the radar for most people. What a letdown! -
Knowledge of Snack Ingredients.
Wouldn’t it be nice to forget what we know about food? Standing in the snack aisle, I often miss the carefree days of Little Debbie coffee cakes being a breakfast staple. Now I make healthier choices, but sometimes I long for the days of rainbow Jell-O without guilt. -
Working Out Isn’t Fun Anymore.
My mom’s aerobics classes in the ‘80s were a blast, filled with leg warmers and headbands. I looked forward to being an adult and joining that world. However, now I find myself paying a fortune for workout gear and enduring grueling sessions instead of enjoying the light-hearted fun of the past. -
My Hair is Monotonous.
Back in the day, it seemed like everyone was constantly changing their hairstyles. I once celebrated cutting bangs after nearly 15 years of the same look. Now, I realize my hair hasn’t changed much—what’s the fun in that? -
Turkey Takes Forever to Cook.
I vividly remember the excitement of our first microwave, which made cooking feel revolutionary. I imagined I’d never again have to deal with stoves, yet here I am, still roasting turkeys the old-fashioned way. My slow cooker is the closest I get to modern convenience.
If only I could go back to that blissful ignorance of childhood dreams. But alas, reality can be a bit of a buzzkill. If you’re interested in learning more about home insemination and the journey of motherhood, check out this handy guide. For more expert insights on pregnancy, visit this excellent resource or read about the joy of parenting here.
In summary, adulthood has certainly fallen short of my ‘80s childhood dreams. From flying cars to robot helpers, my expectations were sky-high. Yet, despite the disappointments, the journey continues with its own unique challenges and rewards.