Updated: Feb. 19, 2021
Originally Published: April 2, 2015
Picture this scenario: You’ve just settled into your favorite café with a steaming cup of coffee, laptop open and ready to go. Suddenly, a stranger approaches and demands, “Hey, can I use that?” You respond, “Um, no. This is MY laptop.” The stranger insists, “That’s not fair! I deserve a turn!” Next, they go to the barista and complain. The barista intervenes, saying, “Alright, it’s time for you to share with your new friend.” Then, your laptop is taken away. Sounds outrageous, right? This is likely how our kids feel whenever we force them to share.
Here are nine reasons why I won’t make my kids share with others:
- Stability is Key: If my child is deeply engrossed in an activity that doesn’t involve a simple on/off switch, it’s best to let them be. I wouldn’t dream of interrupting you while you’re in the middle of baking a cake. If they need assistance, they’ll ask.
- Focus Matters: Imagine you’re reading a thrilling book and just reached the climax when someone suddenly snatches it away. I would feel completely unhinged if I couldn’t immerse myself in an activity without interruptions. Oh wait, as a mom, that happens all the time. Now it’s all starting to make sense.
- I Stand by My Kids: I won’t be the one to take away that crucial LEGO piece from my son when he’s clearly building something significant. It’s his creation, his rules, and I respect that.
- Let’s Be Honest: Sharing is a strange concept. As adults, do we share our cars, furniture, or even our partners? Last I checked, I’m not part of a sister wife situation.
- Fairness is a Myth: Contrary to popular belief among children, life isn’t fair and never will be. That kid may have had the toy longer, but that’s just tough luck. They’ll survive.
- Encouraging Choices: Throughout my parenting journey, I’ve focused on teaching my kids to make their own decisions and understand their consequences. I’m not about to undermine that just so another child can play with my daughter’s favorite doll.
- Establishing Boundaries: A crucial life skill is learning to say “No.” This applies unless it’s about trying new foods or wearing pants.
- Cooperation is Still Possible: I’m confident that my children will still learn how to cooperate and function effectively in society, even without enforced sharing.
- Building Kindness: Perhaps if children recognize they can’t always have exactly what they want right away, it will foster a generation of kinder individuals. You know, those who don’t throw tantrums over minor inconveniences or leave nasty comments on blog posts when they disagree.
This article was originally published on April 2, 2015. For more insightful parenting advice, be sure to check out this post on our at-home insemination kit.
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In summary, the decision not to enforce sharing among children stems from the desire to foster independence, respect boundaries, and encourage personal responsibility. It’s about preparing them for the realities of life, where fairness is not guaranteed, and kindness is learned through experience.