As a seasoned stay-at-home parent (SAHP), I’ve shared countless hours on the playground, and it’s clear that our struggles are often the same. This list serves as a guide for partners, aiming to keep our families harmonious. Remember, when the SAHP is content, the whole family thrives. Here are nine questions to refrain from asking:
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“Wow, the house is looking a bit chaotic.”
Seriously? I’ve tidied up three times today alone! Those toys have been played with and put away more than once. I even spent part of my precious nap time trying to restore order. Instead of making a comment, why not pitch in and help clean while engaging the kids? I’ll be taking a moment (or several) to regain my sanity.
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“What did you accomplish today?”
If a fellow SAHP asks, I might say “nothing,” but that doesn’t mean I spent my day glued to the TV. When you ask this, I often struggle to articulate how I navigated endless rounds of imaginative play. It’s interesting how the kids seem so glued to their screens during your time with them, yet not with me.
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“It seems like you’re raising your voice a lot.”
Really? Try herding little ones for hours while repeating “Put your shoes on.” After dealing with a potty accident and chasing a giggling child who’s dodging the whole getting-ready process, let’s see how calm you remain by the end of the day.
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“I just need a few minutes to unwind when I return home.”
Oh, really? How about you take that “me time” on your way home? Until the kids are sound asleep, your silence is a luxury I can’t afford.
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“You didn’t manage to pick up the _____?”
You mean the item you could have easily grabbed on your way to work or during lunch? Please don’t follow that with “What did you do all day?” because no, I didn’t take the kids on a shopping spree for dish soap. But hey, at least everyone made it through the day alive!
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“You really should take a break. Hire a babysitter.”
I was doing just fine until you called to say you’d be late. That’s when I lost my cool—not because I need a sitter, but because a bit of planning on your part could have avoided this meltdown.
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“When was your last shower?”
Just… let’s skip that question.
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“Maybe you should turn it into a game.”
Do you really think that turning chores into games will stop toddler tantrums? By the end of the day, I’d rather just bribe them to clean than play games. I’m counting the minutes until bedtime!
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“Do you think it’s time for a haircut?”
It’s funny how I don’t have time to check my reflection. Why don’t you schedule it for me, along with a babysitter?
Feel free to add your own thoughts on what keeps SAHPs happy. My kid just discovered a box of matches—gotta run!
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Summary:
This article outlines nine questions that partners should avoid asking stay-at-home parents, emphasizing the challenges they face daily. By understanding and supporting their efforts, partners can contribute to a happier family dynamic.