Before I became a parent, my knowledge about breastfeeding and pumping was minimal. I was unaware that milk flows from several openings, not just one. The thought of pumping seemed daunting, and I often tuned out conversations about it. I only knew there was a machine involved and that working mothers joked about the sounds it made during conference calls. Fast forward to now, and after returning to work a month ago, I’ve fully embraced the pumping experience. Here’s what I’ve learned during my daily pumping sessions—three times a day, to be precise:
- Milk Spills Are Inevitable
Whether it’s from a leaky pumping bag when you’re not sitting perfectly upright or the milk that splatters while you’re delicately removing the pump funnel from your nursing bra, expect some milk to end up on your leg. Choose outfits that can discreetly hide these unfortunate spills. - Shedding Layers at Work Is a Thrill
This alone highlights how exciting my life has become. The first time you remove your top in the office, you might feel a little rebellious. However, by the fifth day and fifteenth time, you’re just trying to avoid getting makeup on your shirt. - Hospital-Grade Pumps Are a Game Changer
If possible, request one from your employer. While standard pumps cost around $400 (available for free through Obamacare), hospital-grade models can run up to $2,000. The extra investment transforms pumping into a luxurious experience—like a spa day for your breasts. The first time I used one, I couldn’t help but share how amazing it was with fellow pumping moms. - Sharing a Mini Fridge Feels Nostalgic
It’s reminiscent of college days, but instead of labeling your boxed wine, you’ll be marking your pumped breast milk. The experience is oddly similar. - Eating a Sad Salad While Pumping Feels Extra Depressing
If you think munching on a salad at your desk is disheartening, try doing it while attached to a pumping device. It’s the ultimate “moo” moment. Kale for days, right? - You Can Escape Any Situation with “I Need to Pump”
I haven’t taken advantage of this yet, but mentioning pumping clears a path like nothing else. I’ve seen fire drills receive less attention than when I say I need to step out to pump. - If You Have a Designated Pumping Room, Don’t Take It for Granted
Having a dedicated space for pumping should be standard. It’s shocking that some women still pump in the restroom. Where do they plug in? Sit? The toilet? Seriously? If your workplace lacks this facility, advocate for one. - “Tits-out Party Time” Is Not a Professional Response
When someone asks where I’m headed on my way to the pumping room, this phrase has not gone over well. I’ve tried “Going to express milk from my breasts,” but that’s equally awkward. - #NormalizePumpingAtWork
It might be uncomfortable for everyone involved, but discussing pumping can help normalize the experience. While it may still be a bit strange, talking about it can make future pumping moms feel a little less isolated. So let’s be open about it and make it less weird.
In conclusion, navigating the world of pumping at work comes with its own set of challenges and humorous moments. For more insights on parenting options, check out this resource. If you’re on a journey that includes pregnancy, visit March of Dimes for excellent guidance.