When I was nearing the end of my pregnancy with my second child, I found myself on a park bench watching my 3-year-old, Lucas, playing nearby. A passing gentleman gestured towards him and asked, “Is that your son or your grandson?” Ouch. Yes, I had my children later in life—the second one arrived just before I turned 40—but I didn’t think I was quite at the grandma stage yet. Sure, my husband and I would have preferred to start our family earlier, but finding each other took some time. (Dating in New York is akin to a reality show, filled with narcissists and overpriced cocktails.)
While I never intended to be juggling gray hair and toddler tantrums simultaneously, I’ve come to appreciate the benefits of being an older mom. Many mothers in my age bracket share this sentiment. Though we didn’t plan it this way, our maturity seems to enhance our parenting skills compared to a decade ago. Here are the top nine reasons why being an older mom can be so rewarding.
1. I’ve Moved Past the Party Scene
By the time our first child was born, my husband and I had already outgrown our nightlife phase. We don’t miss the late nights or the hangovers, although we do miss sleeping in. I’ll never get used to being jolted awake by a tiny fist.
2. We Were Fully Prepared for Parenthood
Having spent ample time contemplating parenthood, we dove into it with complete enthusiasm. There were no mixed feelings when we saw that positive pregnancy test—in fact, we might have even danced the Electric Slide in celebration!
3. Career Stability
Having kids at 25 can have its own perks, but it often means juggling parenting with career development—a challenging endeavor. By the time our first son arrived, my husband and I had already made strides in our careers, allowing us the flexibility to slow down and focus more on family.
4. Increased Patience and Calmness
As someone who has battled anxiety, I’ve learned how to manage my stress levels over the years. I’ve come to understand that flare-ups are temporary and not the end of the world. In my younger days, small issues would send me spiraling; now, I can calmly handle a scraped knee by saying, “We clean that up with rags, not the fancy towels.”
5. A Broader Perspective
Becoming a mother reshapes your view of society. In my youth, I subscribed to harmful notions regarding women’s worth based on appearance and weight. Motherhood, combined with age, has helped me discern what elements of our culture to embrace and which to challenge. Now, when someone tells my son to “be a man,” I just roll my eyes.
6. No Simultaneous Growing Pains
Had I become a mom at 23, I would have exposed my child to my own growing pains—learning to handle finances, car repairs, and other adult responsibilities while raising a kid. Now that I’ve figured these things out, I can focus more on parenting.
7. Past Mistakes Are Behind Me
I’ve had my share of youthful blunders, like losing money in a game of three-card monte or letting my AAA membership lapse before a long road trip. Those days are behind me, and I’m wiser for it.
8. Choosing the Right Partner
While not every older parent has a perfect relationship, I’ve found that the partners I chose later in life were more thoughtful choices. The tumultuous relationships of my youth are in the past, giving way to a more stable partnership.
9. A Sense of Gratitude
I longed for children for so long that I eventually accepted the possibility of not having them. Their arrival has been a profound blessing. Even if I’m technically old enough to be their grandmother, the joy I feel as a mother grows deeper with each passing year.
For those considering starting a family later in life, this journey can offer unique advantages that are worth embracing. If you’re interested in learning more about home insemination options, check out this resource. Additionally, understanding the odds of success with fertility treatments is important; you can find valuable insights here. The CDC also provides an excellent overview of infertility statistics which you can find here.
In summary, being an older mom comes with its share of challenges, but the rewards often outweigh them. With a firmer grasp on life, patience, and a deeper appreciation for motherhood, older moms can thrive in their roles, bringing wisdom and joy to their families.