Recently, during a snowstorm, I missed my daily run. The next morning, I woke my husband, Mark, to inform him I was heading out for my routine Saturday jog. He expressed concern about the road conditions, suggesting I stay home. However, I felt the roads were clear enough, and I needed that run—I thrive on those endorphins. Skipping a workout means a less happy home for everyone.
I understood his worry; he feared something might happen to me. While we have discussed what would happen if one of us were to pass while our children are still young, our talks have mainly revolved around guardianship, life insurance, and where we’d like our ashes scattered. Yet, there are more pressing matters I want him to consider—things that go beyond practicalities.
1. Engage in Open Conversations About Difficult Topics
I know discussing sex, drugs, and alcohol with our kids might feel awkward for you, but it’s vital. While we’ve touched on these topics, they require ongoing conversations. Your daughter may be just as curious about relationships as any teenage boy; I was once that girl. Discuss the significance of valuing others, respecting bodies, and practicing safe interactions. Encourage them to approach you with any mistakes—they need to know you’re a safe space.
2. Instill Respectful Behavior
We believe our kids are generally good, but they can still misbehave. If a teacher or another parent points out unacceptable behavior, take it seriously. Encourage them to make amends rather than glossing over their actions.
3. Don’t Hesitate to Check In
I know you aren’t inclined to snoop, but I believe it’s necessary. Look through their rooms and check their phone histories. If you discover concerning or harmful behavior, prioritize addressing it over respecting their privacy. It’s okay to enforce boundaries.
4. Choose Your Companions Wisely
If you need time for yourself after I’m gone, please wait a year before dating. If you do meet someone, ensure she treats our kids well and is almost as fabulous as I am—just a little less fabulous, okay? Our children deserve a nurturing presence.
5. Let Go of My Belongings
Feel free to part with my possessions when the time comes. This process is essential for your healing and will help you embrace new beginnings, especially when you find someone new. You might stumble upon some of my hidden treasures—trust me, everything was on sale!
6. Trust Your Parenting Instincts
Even in my absence, trust your judgment. You’re just as capable of making good decisions as I am. I know I’ve often taken charge during busy times, but the kids are familiar with your expectations, so keep that consistency.
7. Prioritize Your Well-Being
Remember, your needs matter too. Don’t neglect your passions or hobbies—they are crucial, especially as a single parent. Keep engaging in activities that fulfill you and nourish your spirit.
8. Maintain Friendships
You have amazing friends who will be invaluable during tough times. Make time for them without guilt; these bonds predate ours and are important for your support system. Lean on them.
9. Keep the Joy Alive
Reflect on all the joyful moments we’ve shared—dancing, hiking, and trying new foods. Don’t let those experiences fade; create new traditions with our kids and keep the fun alive.
While I want you to treasure our memories, don’t let them hinder your ability to embrace new experiences.
And, regarding my funeral—please skip the somber casket and flowers. A celebration in our backyard with wine and chocolate cake would be perfect.
For more insights on home insemination, check out this excellent resource. If you’re interested in pregnancy-related information, this article is also a great read.
In summary, these are the thoughts I wish to leave you with, to guide you in navigating the future with our children and living a fulfilling life.