1. Time Wasters
Look, I really have no desire to sit through your wedding video. Remember that time I flew across the country to celebrate your big day? Yeah, I do, and if I want a reminder of that night, I’ll ask for it myself.
2. Lack of Order
When you’ve placed your order at the deli, please step aside for the next person. Trust me, your food will arrive just as quickly if you’re not blocking the counter like you’re trying to grab a rebound. Just MOVE!
3. Personal Space Invaders
To the gas station attendant, when I position my hand just below yours to avoid contact while receiving my change, it’s intentional. It’s nothing personal—I just prefer to keep my hands to myself.
4. Fake Apologies
Do you even know what “disingenuous” means? Apologizing repeatedly for texting during dinner doesn’t make it right. If you have to check your phone that often, just own it instead of pretending it’s a big deal.
5. Noisy Eating
Hey, Samantha Salty, could you ease up on the popcorn? I’m trying to watch a film here. Honestly, I might just get you a feed bag because it seems like half of what you scoop ends up on your face. It’s incredibly distracting.
6. Slow Decision-Makers
To the guy in front of me at Taco Bell—seriously, you’ve been at the order window for ages! The menu hasn’t changed in decades. You had all the time in the world to decide before you pulled up, so let’s speed this along!
7. Insincere Conversations
To my friend who only reaches out after a year—it’s nice to hear from you, but if you need a favor, could you just say it upfront? I prefer honesty over the pretense of a friendly chat. You’ll likely get a better response if you’re straightforward.
8. Poor Call Etiquette
If I call and you miss it, don’t just text me with a “what’s up.” Either call me back or stick to your act of having missed my call. It’s just confusing!
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In conclusion, as I age, my tolerance for these minor annoyances is dwindling. It’s time to embrace honesty, efficiency, and a little more respect for personal space.