Everywhere I look, there are constant reminders to relish every moment with my children. The pressure to embrace the clamor of my home when my kids and their friends are bustling through the kitchen can be overwhelming. I often find myself worrying that I’m not living up to the ideal of motherhood when a gallon of milk spills and, as I mop up the mess, I calculate the years left until they head off to college—certainly not because I’ll miss their chaos.
Let me clarify: I genuinely love being a mom. In fact, raising two wonderful humans to be responsible members of society is my proudest accomplishment. My kids are witty, respectful, and have an admirable appreciation for classic rock from the ’80s. Overall, I truly enjoy the individuals they are growing into. However, if I’m honest, there are several facets of motherhood that I could do without.
1. Couch Cuddles
Sure, I adore the fresh scent of my kids after a bath and their adorable pajamas make me want to hug them tight. When they snuggle up next to me for bedtime kisses, I cherish those moments. But let’s be real—I can only handle about five minutes of that before I need them to find another spot on the couch, preferably far away.
2. Theme Park Family Vacations
Gone are the days of spontaneous trips to amusement parks. Now, a family outing requires meticulous planning, often starting a year in advance. From wristbands to avoid long waits to scrambling for restaurant reservations, by the time we actually arrive, I’m already over the excitement.
3. Costly Date Nights
I understand the importance of nurturing my marriage with date nights, but the expense can be daunting. Between the babysitter, the restaurant tab, and the “going out” outfit that requires Spanx, I’d much rather enjoy a cozy movie night at home with my husband, lounging in yoga pants and sipping wine.
4. Birthday Celebrations
I’ll be candid—I dread hosting birthday parties. The pressure of choosing a theme, buying party favors, and inviting a dozen kids into my home to wreak havoc is less than appealing. And the thought of hosting a party in a crowded venue where my kids might come home sick? No, thank you.
5. Breakfast in Bed
On Mother’s Day, what I really want is peace and a pedicure, not breakfast in bed. The well-meaning chaos of kids trying to prepare food usually culminates in a big mess and a plate of burnt toast. Can’t we just go out for breakfast instead?
6. Bedtime Battles
I relish the quiet that comes after my kids finally fall asleep, but the hours leading up to that moment can be a circus. With constant reminders to get ready for bed and the struggle to get them to turn off their devices, the bedtime routine can be maddening.
7. Halloween Havoc
Over the past decade, Halloween has morphed into a major production. When you have toddlers, it often feels like a chaotic nightmare filled with creepy costumes, late-night wandering, and too much candy. It’s officially my least favorite holiday.
8. The Night Before Gift-Giving Holidays
I admit I’m a last-minute planner when it comes to holidays. I’m the mom who remembers just days before that Easter baskets need filling. The frantic last-minute shopping and the exhaustion of preparing everything while my kids sleep can be overwhelming. While I delight in their joy on Christmas morning, the lead-up often feels like a stressful chore.
As I’ve shared, while I love being a mom, I know I’m not alone in feeling ambivalent about these so-called special moments. I see the same exhaustion reflected in the faces of mothers posing with cartoon characters in my social media feeds.
Solidarity, fellow moms. Remember, Mickey and Minnie don’t have kids, so they’ll never understand our unique struggles.
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Summary: Motherhood is filled with moments that society tells us to cherish, but many mothers secretly find overwhelming or frustrating. From couch cuddles to chaotic holidays, the realities of parenting can be far from the idealized version we often see. Finding joy amidst the chaos is essential, and knowing other moms share these feelings can provide comfort and solidarity.