In the world of parenting, there’s a lot of advice that remains unsaid, often because it’s uncomfortable or simply too truthful for polite conversation. Just like those cringe-worthy singing contestants who never received honest feedback, many moms navigate through some pretty absurd situations without anyone daring to set them straight. Here are seven pieces of advice that are all too often left unspoken but definitely need to be addressed:
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Time for a Haircut
Unless your little one is a modern-day Sampson, there’s nothing sacred about their first haircut. Taking scissors to that wild mane won’t magically catapult them into adolescence. Seriously, it’s time to chop off that baby mullet. We’re all a little tired of Bob’s unkempt locks resembling a rat tail and would appreciate it if you took action. -
Don’t Turn Playdates into Sales Pitches
That themed party you’re hosting for your essential oils or homemade candles? Spoiler alert: it’s a pyramid scheme. While you might love those products, please don’t make every playdate a sales pitch. We’ve all suffered enough financial losses at similar parties—$400 for a fancy can opener, anyone? Let’s keep our social gatherings drama-free and not about selling. -
Respect Boundaries
That friend who doesn’t have kids? Don’t assume she wants to babysit your tornado of a toddler. After a 40-hour workweek in a cubicle, she’d much rather unwind with a movie marathon than play with Play-Doh. Let her enjoy her downtime while you connect with fellow moms for babysitting swaps—trust us, everyone will be happier. -
Find an Interest
If you’re constantly embroiled in debates over how to peel your child’s carrots or the ideal bedtime routine, it might be time to find a hobby. Expanding your interests beyond parenting, like taking up dance classes or exploring new fitness trends, will help you care less about others’ choices and enrich your own life. -
Kale Chips Aren’t a Hit
Bringing kale chips to the playgroup? You might want to reconsider. They often feel like snack-shaming to the rest of us. Kale is the plant equivalent of pretentious literature: overrated and not for everyone. If your mainstay is a snack pretending to be something it’s not, maybe opt for something more universally loved next time. -
How Old Is Your Child Again?
Your child is not “29 months old.” Seriously, don’t make us do the math. Most of us are too busy keeping track of our own kids’ ages to remember yours. We only asked to make small talk, so please keep it simple. -
Small Talk Is Just That
When someone asks about your baby names or if you’re hoping for a girl, they’re just trying to be friendly. Don’t take their questions too seriously—they’ll forget your answers faster than you can say “Pauly Shore marathon.”
So, take a moment to address that baby’s hair, put down the candle catalog, and maybe even try a dance class. Your friends—and your sanity—will thank you.
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