If I had to sum up my perspective on parenting before becoming a mother, the word “unprepared” would fit the bill perfectly. At the time I found out I was expecting, I had a nine-month-old niece, and while changing her diapers was amusing, handing her back to her mom when she fussed was even better. I vastly underestimated many aspects of preparing for a family, including the time it would take to conceive. But that was merely the tip of the iceberg. Here are some more revelations I had about motherhood that caught me off guard…
1. The True Meaning of Exhaustion
Have you ever experienced fatigue like that of your child’s early years? Now, add another kid or two into the mix! What I once thought of as tiredness pales in comparison—I’m not just exhausted; I’m completely out of it! Prior to having children, “tired” meant recovering from a late night out or a night of cramming for exams, which could be fixed with a solid 12-14 hours of sleep. Those days of restful slumber are long gone since becoming a parent.
2. The Concept of “Nice Things”
Let’s be real: I’ve never truly owned anything nice, and I know it. My husband and I got engaged in college, and by the time I had a stable job, we were gearing up for a wedding and then having kids. Once the little ones arrived, it became clear that nice things come at a high price! The few items I thought I’d splurged on have quickly become targets for spills, messes, and sticky fingers. Maybe in ten years I’ll get to enjoy them again.
3. The Reality of Backwash
Before kids, I would never have thought twice about sharing a drink with my son, but now I see the unsettling similarities to a bird feeding its chick. Now, I refuse to share beverages with anyone under four years old—not just because they’re germy, but because their straw skills leave much to be desired. I’d rather stay thirsty than drink from a cup that’s just been shared with a two-year-old.
4. The Redefinition of “Lazy Days”
There was once a time when spending an entire day on the couch, binge-watching movies with my partner felt like paradise. Now “lazy days” mean staying home because I’m too exhausted to deal with the kids in public. Our pajama-clad family runs around, the kids wrestle and scream, and my husband and I exchange looks of shared exhaustion while we decipher how to order pizza to cope with our feelings.
5. The Magic of a Cardboard Box
Do I even need to explain this? Each year, filling out birthday invitations fills me with dread at the thought of the junk we’ll accumulate—items that will be used once and then discarded. Instead, invest in cardboard! It’s the ultimate jungle gym, race car, fort, and anything else a child can imagine in those early years. I used to store items in boxes before kids, what a waste of potential birthday gifts!
6. The Importance of Self-Care
Prior to children, I treated myself to manicures and pedicures every two weeks without a care in the world. Long, hot showers were a staple of my routine. Now, I struggle to find a moment to shower, let alone shave. I used to indulge in a $130 cut and color every few months, but nowadays, my hair has embraced the ombre look out of necessity. Saturdays are now reserved for soccer practice and budgeting—my husband gently reminds me that our finances don’t allow for my past self-care habits.
7. Understanding Inconvenience
Before having kids, I thought inconveniences were having to juggle my college schedule or deal with construction detours. What I didn’t realize was how truly inconvenient life would feel after having children. It means enduring healing stitches while juggling the demands of motherhood, and waiting until 11 PM for dinner because my child decided they wanted my plate instead of their own. It’s a shift where your needs come last—if they even come at all.
This article originally published on March 3, 2015, serves to highlight the unexpected trials of motherhood. For those looking for insights on family planning, check out our post on the at-home insemination kit. For further resources on pregnancy, visit March of Dimes, and to explore ideas for baby play, look into Intracervical Insemination.
In summary, motherhood is filled with surprising challenges that many of us are unprepared for. From redefining exhaustion to discovering the true value of self-care, the journey of parenting is one filled with lessons that change our perspectives forever.